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working at all. We drank beer, watched shitty movies, and talked about nothing in particular. The usual. I wanted to forget my troubles. The fact that I wasn’t able to play in this weekend’s game ate at me, though I tried to not worry about it. Still, I was pissed when Wade was gone, playing without me.
    Looking for a distraction, I was glad when a couple of girls came over late Friday night. But I realized quickly that I didn’t want to deal with them. I don’t remember their names, even though one sat on my lap, stroking my hair, whispering in my ear how hot I was and how much she wanted me. I let her do it, my attention focused on the shit movie rather than her, and I know it pissed her off. I wasn’t into her. So she left me and went and sat on Wade’s lap.
    Pretty sure he scored with that one.
    I worked Saturday night. The rush of the dinner crowd kept me busy, my brain occupied, which I needed. My shift was till eleven but I stayed later, past midnight because it got so busy, and I helped out wherever I could. The tips were extra good and I stashed the cash in a secret spot in my closet, in the pocket of one of my old jackets. Fabes taught me that trick.
    Hopefully I’d be able to hang on to some of the money and not have to give it all up to Mom.
    Each night I lay awake in bed for way too long, thinking about my tutor. Chelsea. It’s as if I can’t stop thinking about her, which is pointless. Stupid. Remembering how I found her resting her head on the table, fast asleep. Her pink lips parted, her breathing even, looking like a dark-haired angel. She’d been incredibly still, fascinating to watch, and doing so made me feel like a voyeur. Seeing her like that felt like an incredibly intimate experience I had no business being a part of.
    And when I touched her? I don’t know what made me do that. Her brown hair looked like silk, and I wanted to see if it felt like silk, too.
    It did.
    When she stirred, I yanked my hand back as if I’d just touched fire and got burned. No way did I want her knowing I had my fingers in her hair. She’d probably freak out. I don’t think she likes me much.
    I make her uncomfortable and sick asshole that I am, I like it. I pushed her on purpose last Thursday. Wanting to see a reaction, needing to see her cheeks turn pink and her lids slide down so they were covering those too-blue eyes. She has thick, dark eyelashes and a sprinkling of freckles, just like I thought.
    Never knew I had a thing for freckles, but I’ve come to realize I might.
    You don’t even know this girl. What gives?
    When did knowing a girl ever matter to me before?
    Sunday I didn’t do shit. Slept in, lay around in bed until finally Wade asked if I wanted to order a pizza for dinner. I agreed and pulled out the assignment sheet Chelsea gave me while we waited for the delivery guy. What I needed to do to catch up and get my grade out of the gutter wasn’t that bad. Answer short essay questions about books we were supposed to have read that I haven’t yet. Or questions asking for our opinion on a certain topic—simple stuff that I could handle. I found one of the assigned books for cheap and downloaded it on my phone.
    After I wolfed down half the damn pizza I worked on a few of my assignments, feeling like I’d actually accomplished something when I finished two of them. I thought of how much that might please Chelsea and that spurred me on, making me finish another assignment after I skimmed the other assigned book, which I finally found under my bed.
    Now here I am moving down the crowded hall, pushing through the throng of students, anxious to reach the room where I know Chelsea’s waiting for me. I’d put on jeans and a brand-new black T-shirt I picked up in a pack at Walmart, throwing one of my favorite old flannel shirts over it because it got damn cold outside. The sky is gloomy and gray; I think it might rain, and I wonder how long the decent weather will last before summer leaves us for