impossible to tell where one group left off and the other started. The food had broken whatever ice remained—tons of food from mutton to whitefish, dumplings to trifle. Before long, someone was playing “Danny Boy” on the old upright piano, and Uncle Kevin was pouring shots of Jameson’s, toasting his dearly departed brother and days gone by.
Ryan didn’t join in. He just kept moving from room to room, knowing that if he stood still he’d be locked in conversation with someone he had no interest in talking to. In fact, he had no interest in talking to anyone. Except his mother.
Ryan had been watching her closely all day, ever since that eulogy that had moved everyone to tears—everyone but Jeanette Duffy. She had a detached look about her. In some ways it seemed normal. She wouldn’t be the first widow to walk numbly through her husband’s funeral. It was just so unlike his mother. She was an emotional woman, the kind who’d seen It’s a Wonderful Life at least fifty times and still cried every time Clarence got his wings.
Ryan caught her eye from across the room. She looked away.
“Eat something, Ryan.” His aunt was pushing a plate of food toward him.
“No, thanks. I’m not really hungry.”
“You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“Really, I’m not hungry.” Through the crowd, he tried to catch his mother’s eye again, but she wouldn’t look his way. He glanced down at hisfour-foot-ten-inch aunt. “Aunt Angie, does Mom seem okay to you?”
“Okay? I guess so. This is a very tough time for her, Ryan. Your father is the only man she ever—you know. Loved. What they had was special. They were like one person.”
He glanced at his mother, then back at his aunt. “I don’t suppose they would have kept any secrets from each other, would they?”
“I wouldn’t think so. No, definitely not. Not Frank and Jeanette.”
Ryan was staring in his mother’s direction, but he’d lost focus. He was deep in thought.
His aunt touched his hand. “Are you all right, darling?”
“I’m fine,” he said vaguely. “I think I just need some air. Will you excuse me a minute?” He started across the living room, toward the front door, then stopped. He sensed his mother was watching. He turned and caught her eye. This time she didn’t look away.
Ryan worked his way back through the crowd toward the dining room. His mother was standing at the head of the table full of food, busily cutting a piece of corned beef into toddler-sized pieces for some youngster. He stood right beside her, laid his hand on hers, speaking in a soft voice. “Mom, I need to talk to you in private.”
“Now?”
“Yes.”
She smiled nervously. “But the guests.”
“They can wait, Mom. This is important.”
She blinked nervously, then laid down the carving knife beside the plate of bite-size beef. “All right. We can talk in the master.”
Ryan followed her down the hall. The door flew open as they reached the master suite. An old man came out, zipping his fly.
“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “Damn prostate, you know.” He hurried away.
They entered together. Ryan closed the door, shutting out the noise. Like his own old bedroom, the master was a veritable time capsule, complete with the old sculptured wall-to-wall carpeting and cabbage rose wallpaper. The bed was the old four-poster style, so high off the floor it required a step-stool to get into it. He and his sister Sarah used to hide beneath it as kids. Dad would pretend he couldn’t find them, even though their giggling was loud enough to wake up the neighbors. Ryan shook off the memories and checked the master bathroom, making sure they were alone. His mother sat in the armchair in the corner beside the bureau. Ryan leaned against the bedpost.
“What’s on your mind, Ryan?”
“Dad told me something the night before he died. Something pretty disturbing.”
Her voice cracked. “Oh?”
He started to pace. “Look, there’s really no delicate
John B. Garvey, Mary Lou Widmer