Read Forgive Me for Free Online Page A

with her, she wanted to know
about it. He was not going to shut her out; she didn’t deserve that.
    Eva sighed as she saw the state of the
kitchen. She had cleaned it up the previous night but now it was strewn from end to end
with dirty dishes, saucepans, food packets and tins. It was almost laughable that the
rest of the family were all at home because they were grief-stricken, yet they could
still stuff their faces with food.
    Music was coming from upstairs, and when she
looked in the sitting room there was more mess there – cups, empty Coke cans, plates and
crisp packets.
    Wearily she went upstairs and found Sophie
wearing herdressing gown, sitting on her bedroom floor drying her hair
and listening to a Madonna cassette blaring out. ‘I see you found your appetite
again,’ she said. ‘Would it be too much to expect for you to tidy up after
yourself?’
    Sophie switched off the hair dryer, looking
contemptuously at her elder sister standing in the doorway. ‘I suppose you think
you’re in charge now?’ she shouted over the music.
    Eva went into the room and turned the music
off. ‘Someone has to act responsibly,’ she said. ‘Where’s
Dad?’
    ‘Dunno,’ Sophie said sullenly.
‘He went out around two. He said something about making arrangements.’
    ‘And Ben?’
    ‘He’s in his room.’
    ‘I am not the enemy, neither am I the
housekeeper, and we’ve all got to pull together now to get through this. Now come
downstairs and help me clear up.’
    ‘I can’t, I’m getting
ready to go out,’ Sophie retorted.
    ‘Going out where?’
    ‘Meeting my friends, if you must
know.’
    ‘Do you think it’s appropriate
to go out at such a time?’ Eva asked.
    ‘You’ve been to work!’
Sophie sounded indignant now.
    ‘That’s different, and you know
it,’ Eva knelt down on the floor beside her sister. On Sophie’s bed a short
red ra-ra skirt and a skimpy top were laid out. ‘Just look at how that would seem
to people, you gadding off dressed up for a night out so soon after –’ She broke
off, unable to actually say, ‘Mum’s death.’
    ‘Did Mum think of our feelings? Does
she deserve any respect?’
    There was such hurt in Sophie’s voice
that Eva took her hand and held it between both of hers. ‘No, she didn’t
consider our feelings and that makes me as sad as it does you.But we
have to behave in the right way, to try to keep some semblance of dignity.’
    ‘She’s ruined my life,’
Sophie pouted. ‘Everyone is talking about it. I hate her now. She was a selfish
cow.’
    Eva wriggled nearer her sister and drew her
into her arms. It was tempting to point out that people only knew about it because
Sophie had told them but, as irritating as her sister could be, she was only seventeen
and she hadn’t stopped to think before she spread the story around.
    ‘Yes, she was selfish, and I
don’t understand it any more than you,’ Eva said, smoothing back the younger
girl’s dark hair from her face. ‘But don’t say you hate her; she may
not have been able to help herself. We might find out that she had a good reason, and
then you’ll feel terrible that you said such a thing. You’ve still got me,
and Ben and Dad. I’ll cook us some dinner and maybe we can all talk about stuff,
decide what we’re going to do.’
    Sophie clung on to her, crying softly.
‘Didn’t she care about us?’ she said brokenly.
    ‘Of course she did,’ Eva said
soothingly. ‘I’ve heard that sometimes the verdict at inquests is that they
“took their life while the balance of their mind was disturbed”.
That’s like being crazy for a short while. It doesn’t mean she
couldn’t bear us any more. Her note said “Forgive me”. I think we
should.’
    ‘You’d forgive anybody for
anything,’ Sophie said. But for once there was no scorn in her voice.
    ‘I won’t forgive you if I come
home tomorrow night and find such a mess,’ Eva said teasingly. ‘Now finish
drying your hair and come and help me get