them to my boyfriend.
Thankfully it was kind of hard to have a conversation with Mom because Mr. G was practicing his drums, with Rocky banging along on his toy drum set.
When he saw me, Rocky dropped his drumsticks and ran over to throw his arms around my knees, screaming, âMeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh!â
Itâs nice to be able to come home to someone whoâs always happy to see you, even if itâs an almost three-year-old.
âYeah, hi, Iâm home,â I said. Itâs no joke trying to walk with a toddler attached to you. âWhatâs for dinner?â
âItâs two-for-one pizza night at Tre Giovanni,â Mr. Gianini said, hanging up his sticks. âHow can you even ask?â
âWhere were you?â Rocky wanted to know.
âI had to go shopping with my friends,â I said.
âBut you dinât buy anything,â Rocky said, looking at my empty hands.
âI know,â I explained, heading to the kitchen drawer where we keep the silverware with him still attached to me. Itâs my job to set the table. I may be a princess, but I still have chores. Thatâs one thing we established during family sessions with Dr. K. âThatâs because we went prom dress shopping, and Iâm not going to the prom, because itâs lame.â
âSince when is the prom lame?â Mr. Gianini wanted to know, wrapping a towel around his neck. Drumming can make you sweaty, as I know all too well, from the small damp person attached to my legs.
âSince she became a bitingly sarcastic, soon-to-be college girl,â Mom said, pointing at me. âSpeaking of which, family meeting after dinner. Oh, hello.â
She said this last part into the phone, then gave Tre our standard order of two medium pies, one all meat for herself and Mr. G, and one all cheese, for Rocky and me. Iâm back on the vegetarian bandwagon. Well, Iâm really more of a flexatarianâ¦I donât order meat for myself except in times of extreme stress when I need a quick source of high protein, such as beef tacos (so irresistible, though I try to abstain). But when someone else serves meat to meâfor instance, at last weekâs meeting of the Domina ReiâIâll eat it to be polite.
âFamily meeting about what?â I demanded, when Mom hung up.
âYou,â she said. âYour fatherâs scheduled a conference call.â
Great. Thereâs really nothing I look forward to more than a nice call from my dad in Genovia in the evening. Thatâs always a big guarantee a good time will be had by all. Not.
âWhat did I do now?â I wanted to know. Because, seriously, I havenât done anything (except lie to everyone I know aboutâ¦well, everything). But other than that, Iâm always home by curfew, and it isnât even because I have a bodyguard who basically ensures it, either. My boyfriend is way conscientious. J.P. doesnât want to get on the bad side of my father (or mother or stepfather), and when we get together, he freaks if Iâm not on my way home a half hour before Iâm supposed to be, and so he literally hurls me into Larsâs arms every time.
So whatever Dadâs calling aboutâI didnât do it.
Not this time, anyway.
I went to my room to visit Fat Louie before the pizzas came. I worry about him so much. Because letâs just say I do choose to make everyone I know furious with me, and go to a college in the U.S. instead of LâUniversité de Genovia, which really no one but the sons and daughters of celebrity plastic surgeons and dentists who couldnât get in anywhere else attends. (Spencer Pratt from The Hills probably would have gone there, if he hadnât leached his way on to his girlfriendâs ex-friendâs TV show. Lana probably would have had to go there, if I hadnât forced her to makestudying, not getting onto lastnightsparty.com, a priority her junior year.)
The