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come and get it! Bring it up to me, baby, climb my pole!” and I would have to raise my hips up and down, and sometimes he would move around a little and pretend he was going to take it out and quit, and I would twist and. turn and raise and lower my hips frantically to keep it in and keep the motion going – and of course I'd get hotter and sweatier – doing all the work. And I had really great orgasms that way. I could get on top, but it never worked with me that way – only when I was underneath, and really working at it. (I know some men don't like that at all.) One other fantasy I have is about a lover I had who used to have me sit on top of his refrigerator and sort of slide down one rounded corner of it till his tongue was even with my cunt, and he'd stand there with his hands sort of cupping my buttocks to keep me from falling quite helplessly onto the floor, and lap it up like an ice cream cone. Then he'd have me slide down off the refrigerator right onto his big cock – nothing I could do about that either – and waltz me into the bedroom with my toes just off the floor. Our favorite joke was, “Do you want to come over and defrost my refrigerator tonight?” So much for recalling reality – now for fantasies that are just fantasies. There's one about the little girl who has a male guardian – father or uncle, I never really figured it out. One day, the girl has a little boyfriend come over to play after school and invites him to stay for dinner, The guardian agrees, and the boy telephones home for permission, but is told his parents are going out for dinner, and he has to stay where he is till nine-thirty, if that's not too late. (I play all three roles in this, alternating.) The guardian again says okay. But after dinner, he tells the girl she must go and take her bath, which she 28

    does, Then he calls to her and says just to come out in her bathrobe. She does, and then he says to her, “Did you wash your roses good?” She says she did, and he says, “Come lie down over here on the sofa, and let's see if you did.” She says no, she doesn't want to show Toby (her little boyfriend) her roses. At this, the guardian gets angry and takes down a little paddle off the mantelpiece and says, “So you don't want to show him your roses, do you? Well, we'll just show him your little bare bottom then,” and he takes her over his knee, pulls up her Bathrobe, and proceeds to give her a good paddling, turning both of her cheeks pink. Then he stops and says, “Do you want to show Toby your roses?” And she says, “Yes, yes, yes!” So he puts her on the sofa on her back and brings the lamp over, so it can shine very bright, and pushes up a stool for Toby. “Sit there,” he commands Toby. Then he opens the girl's legs and examines her minutely, opening the labia around the vagina and the clitoris. Then he scolds the girl, who has stopped crying by now. “You didn't wash very good. We'll have to do better than that.” He tells Toby to put his finger in her vagina and hold her open with his other hand while he goes and gets the washrag from the bathroom. Toby is afraid not to do as he is told and gets more and more interested in the process and asks the girl if his finger hurts her, and she says no, it feels good, but will he move his other hand a little, which he does. The guardian comes back with a washrag that he has surreptitiously wet with the raspberry-tasting mouthwash, and telling Toby to keep his finger where it is, he sponges the clitoris and labia – which turn pink from the mouthwash color and the heat its slight antiseptic content generate. The girl tries to twist and turn and says the water's too hot, “It's hot, it hurts! Oh, Toby, kiss it and make it stop hurting.” And Toby bends his head and kisses her. By now in this fantasy, I would have come about twice.
    Sometimes the guardian spanks Toby after this.
    By now, I haven't got enough energy left to tell you many details about my daughter's