life is easy. / Use that to understand others, / forgive. / The crops will die out soon.
Iâd love to see you with your Dad / in a station / that Canadian Poet sign in your hand. / Now my claim to fame is triage.
Keep track of your paper / like gold. / Listen to lessons about how to make it & ink / even from me.
Tamara, youâre almost too glorious to exist. / O, come on, your Mum gets one off.
No, I donât want to talk about the first days, / they were horrible, okay? / Forgive me.
Your Dad is the most gorgeous thing. / Yes, T., other than you. / Watching his brain work was exquisite. / No, Iâm no slouch. / Let me be romantic for a second / and let you be so lucky.
You go fall in love with a genius and see how well you adapt.
Tamara: Even I can write your name with care. / I am here with the people / decided to live. / Even if not by me you were loved.
Your Dad drew models of your nursery. / I vetoed the underground ones. / I donât know if I should tell you what was or what happened.
Notes. / See the thing is yr Dad wasnât one for leaving notes. / Codes: yes. / Notes: I bandage before cryptography. / Sorry.
You were born / when I disregarded humanity. / You had to fucking giggle. / Just right then.
Yr Mum spent a long time studying myth. / What she would also call history, occult, religion, and magic. / I donât want to teach it to you. / Yet, I know you will have your own. They will likely be no worse or better. / But a mystery is just something we do not understand. / But there are a few things that are useful & common: study the stars, planets, the sun, & moon. / Read a solar flare. / A flare my dear tells you so much more than cards, or a stick. / Those tell you what you already know. / Explain the aurora borealis.
Iâm trying to get out of seeing him. / Frankly, Iâm lonely enough / to forget your Father (for a time). / In this case âor worse.â
When I sit here waiting for you I just remember: I love my husband so much. Please, please let him come home safe to me.
Iâd like to fall in love again. The old school way. The way where I take just one look. (Iâm sorry.)
Hate the chicken dance at weddings / my girl, yeah. / Names of plants are important / like people. / You puking at the prom.
The mural on your wall. / I started that day / finished between patients. / That sea! / There was so much life.
I want to tell you not to worry. / Not for you, me, or your Dad. / I wish I could sing to you more. / Youâre lucky in that you have nothing to miss.
Being left in this world, / with random luxuries / a fake fireplace. / Here I am making you a calendar. / My darling T.
I canât stand that I reflexively reach out with / my left hand for you.
We used to say / during blackouts / when we lost electricity / 9 months later: babies. / Your Dad wasnât here for the 1st blackout. / But you were, T.
I cry about you sometimes. / Then I remind myself this is it, / to stop being such a sillyhead.
Your Dad is extraordinary. / Love him for that. / You can eat Mayday berries.
She kicks / like you in your sleep.
The worst ones were on tv . / One by one, the time has come. / But yeah, now Iâd like to know. / Weâre growing this garden without you. / In a bunker / you / at work. / I wonder about your lab. / You left me here with winter & sickness & I have to grow tomatoes. / We dance over one. / Weâd love those rations about now.
I want to tell you she is glorious and beautiful. / I want to write you postcards. / I want security clearance / if that matters now.
I know I used to rant at you for a site going down. / But now, I really need to rant about a water pump. Theyâre being moronic dickwads.
You got me. / I will give you anything for her. / My darling dearest. / But you are running a fever / someone should really look at that leg.
You know why you are in this book, right? You were going to work at a Lab. It was half