mistake, but I won’t stop you.”
“Something went wrong in his life, and I want to know what that is. The only way I can find out is to spend time with him. Maybe I’ll meet his friends . . . maybe someone can shed some light.”
“And if he doesn’t want to screw your brains out anymore?”
“Then I’ll try and be his friend, at the very least.”
She shakes her head. “Be careful, Mali. This could go bad.”
“Yeah,” I say, staring at the wall. “But I have to try.”
He’s my friend.
I have to do everything I can.
CHAPTER SIX
THEN – MALI
M y foot slips and I let out a feral curse. Dammit, why did Rainer have to pick the room on the first floor? He could have picked the big one on ground floor, but he hates his father and so he decided no, he’d rather be as far away as he could get. So now I’m trying to climb the flimsy drain that has a supporting grid, and it isn’t going so well for me.
But I have to see him. He’s upset at me, and I don’t like leaving things like that.
I manage to fumble my way to the top. I used to be able to do this so much easier, but these days Rainer is usually the one to come to me, so I don’t tend to hang out at his place. He doesn’t like being here. I push my body up to the top of his small balcony and climb over the railing. His double doors are wide open and I stop dead when I see him at his bedroom door, wearing only a pair of loose cotton shorts.
He’s kissing Missy. Her body is pressed against his, and he’s got a hand curled around the back of her neck. The kiss is long, and soft, and for some, strange reason my chest clenches. An unusual feeling washes through my body, and I quickly shove it down. How weird. I shake my head and wait for him to pull back. He smiles down at her and then lets her out the door. A few minutes later the front door slams and she walks out to her car.
I turn back and see Rainer standing at the open doors, staring at me. He’s got his arms crossed over his broad, bare chest. Gosh, I didn’t realize just how big he’d gotten. He’s ripped. His hair is messy and it has a definite sex look about it. As if I didn’t know what the two of them were doing.
There goes that strange tug in my chest again.
“That looked pretty serious,” I say, jerking my thumb over my shoulder in the general direction Missy just was. “I didn’t think you were the loving kind.”
“What are you doin’ here, Em?”
I sigh. “Are you going to let me in?”
He stays in the door.
“I wanted to see you . . . can you let me in?”
“Just fucked a chick in my bed . . . You sure you wanna do that?”
God dammit chest, stop tightening like that.
“I don’t give a shit. Let me come in so I can talk to you.”
He steps out of the doorway and I walk in. God, it smells like sex in here. At least, that’s what I assume sex smells like. I walk over to his sofa and flop down on it, staring around his room. He keeps it mostly tidy. There are only a few items of clothes flicked about. Otherwise everything is well kept. I watch as he jerks his sheets off his bed and throws them in the basket near his en suite, then he pulls a fresh pair from the closet.
“A boy that keeps spare sheets on hand. Impressive.”
He says nothing.
I sigh.
“You’re angry at me,” I say. It’s not a question.
“And you’re a fuckin’ genius.”
“Jesus, Rainer, stop it. Tell me what the hell the problem is.”
He doesn’t answer me. I know he’s concerned, and I guess I understand why, but I can’t have this every time I decide to date a man.
“What does it truly matter to you?” I whisper.
He stops, sheet in hand, and turns and stares at me. “We’re best friends. I care about you. I don’t care about any other girls, but you are like a sister to me. So yeah, I fuckin’ care what happens.”
A sister?
My chest tightens. I don’t know why that bothers me.
“I get that, and I love it, but I have to make my own mistakes. You can’t