started thinking maybe it was all a lie. Maybe you never really loved me. You didn't have the guts to tell me to my face, so you just took off without a word. No matter what scenario I came up with in my head for why you left, it didn't change the one main thing..." He stands from his desk and walks over to me until we are almost touching chest to chest. He waits until I look up at him before he finishes what he is saying. "You ripped my fucking heart to shreds the day you left." You could almost feel the pain dripping from each word.
It felt like someone shot a dagger into my heart. I don’t know what to say to him. Nothing I say can make it better. I screwed up by running. He didn't do anything. I could see it in his eyes that he was telling the truth. It was all my fault. All this time he thought I just up and left him. And I was too stupid to get an explanation for what I saw. I just believed he would betray me, let my own insecurities fuel my emotions. I understand why he was so angry when he saw me. I would have been, too. I don't blame him for hating me. Hell, right now I hate myself. I wish I would have talked to him back then and let him explain.
“You know me better than anyone. Even now, after six years, I bet you still know me better than anyone else. You know what kind of person I am. How much I despise people who cheat. I would never do that, especially to you. Deep down, you know that.”
“I get it. I would be pissed at me, too. I was just so hurt, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m so sorry." I try to hold back the tears, but I am doing a lousy job. Tears start to flow and I can’t stop them. "Look, Kyle, I’m going to go home for the night. Think over what you want to do. I understand if you don't want me working here. Just have Holly call me when you have an answer." I turn toward the door and stop without looking back to him. “I’m sorry. I know you hate me and I don't blame you. I loved you so much. The thought of you with someone else crushed me and I just reacted. I couldn’t think past the pain." Before he could say anything, I run out of the office, grab my purse, and leave through the kitchen.
I AM the biggest fucking asshole. I just stood here and watched her leave. I have been waiting for six years to be near her again. When I finally am, I let her walk away. My head is so fucked up right now, if I don't think this through a little first I could end up making it a lot worse. God, when she turned around it was like a bolt of lightning hit me. She is so beautiful, still so fucking beautiful. It's hard to breathe when she looks at me. Her hair is longer than it used to be, but it's still that perfect shade of caramel brown. Her body hasn't changed a bit, the same perfect curves in all the right places. She still makes me hard the instant I lay eyes on her. She is the only woman that has ever had that effect on me. I should have just locked her in my office and fucked her on my desk until we both remembered how good we were together. But, I don't think she would have responded well to that, especially after the way she high-tailed it out of here. All this time she thought I cheated on her with that skank Nora. I can't believe she didn’t trust me. I was going to propose to her, why would I cheat on her? Duh, dipshit, she didn't know that.
I am so pissed at myself, at Nora, at Amber. I grab the beer bottle from my desk, tip it back, empty it, and then chuck the bottle at my door. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes. How in the hell am I going to fix this mess? I still love her. I never stopped loving her, but seeing her, the sparks I felt when I grabbed her and pulled her in here, just proves even more what I already know.
"Glad I didn't open the door a few seconds earlier." I lift my head up to see Paul closing the door behind him, making himself at home in the chair at the other end of my desk. I met Paul in L.A. We have been best friends ever since. He has had the pleasure of