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down afterward is a long, difficult process that disables at least a third of the participating trifectas, and Mikscn and I are always among those who are mostly comatose for days after landing.
    But with Jye here … maybe it won't be as bad as usual. Even the past couple of days, with Jye in the adjunct and in our bed, things've been easier. I feel better, and Mikscn's started to lose that edge that always seems to be hiding underneath his determined calm.
    "Mm … you're still awake," Jye murmurs. He nuzzles against my throat and I don't bother hiding my answering smile.
    "Just thinking," I say, carefully pushing away my connection to Mikscn, making sure his sleep is uninterrupted.
    "Good thoughts?" He mouths at my throat and I'm caught between telling him to quit so Mikscn can sleep and letting him continue.
    "Pretty good," I say, my breath hitching when he nips at my earlobe.
    But he stops on his own and shifts a little so he can set his chin on my shoulder. "Tell me?"
    I hesitate, but plow ahead anyway. "I was just thinking that I like you being here." I have to look away, frustrated with the heat in my face. "You're … good for us, for both of us."
    I feel Mikscn surface to consciousness even as Jye hums consideringly. "I'm glad I'm here," he says. "And I'm honored that you chose me to trust and let in." He strokes his fingers against my throat, his meaning implicit, and I can't help the quivering smile pulling at my lips.
    Mikscn shifts a little, giving Jye and I time to gather ourselves and separate and sit up. Jye gives me a little smile when he retreats to the bathroom, and Mikscn remains quiet until the door clicks shut.
    He sits up and curls into himself. I rub my hands over my face, suddenly exhausted. "Sorry," I mutter. "I—I'm sorry. Mikscn, I'm sorry, I—"
    "You're the one who said he isn't ours," Mikscn says, and the worst thing is that he just sounds tired . "Even if—even if we survive the battles with the Cabal ships, even if they let us retire, they'll take him away eventually."
    I shake my head. "I have to believe that we'll be free one day. He can buy Cherian's freedom. If he leaves us, he won't have the restrictions against buying family members like Aiya does. And once Cherian's free—"
    "He'll have no reason to honor any agreement that we make!"
    I bury my face in my hands. "Mikscn—"
    "And who's to say he'd even want to help us? He's here for political reasons—do you really think he's gonna risk pissing off Jheghda and bringing his House down on his ass for a couple of slave pilots?" There's a thump in the bathroom and we freeze for a few seconds before relaxing. "You know Cherian's price is exorbitant." Mikscn sighs and reaches out to pet my hair. "Temsha, the only thing we can do is just … enjoy it while it lasts. That's what I was trying to tell you before."
    I stare at Mikscn, unable to reconcile his words with everything I've been hoping for, everything I've been telling myself for years. That's always been the plan, to try and find a way to free Cherian, and then he would find a way to buy our freedom. Aiya and her trifecta can't buy Cherian even if they left Bredan because the Houses recognize that there's a bias from mentors towards their mentees, but we've been hoping that if they kept putting away wages, and what little money Mikscn and I make, that we could buy him eventually. Aiya and Keito and Micca have friends removed enough from the situation to be allowed a go at Cherian's tag.
    I didn't realize how badly I wanted Jye to become a part of that plan until now. The pit of my stomach drops out and I swallow hard.
    "No, no, I'm sorry," Mikscn says, lunging forward to grab my face. "I didn't mean to—"
    I shove his hands away and scramble to my feet. Mikscn's talking to me, but I don't really register any of it, don't know what I say in response as I yank my clothes on. I just know that I can't be here anymore, can't stand to see Jye come out of the shower with my fantasy