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don’t have too many options when it comes to a secure place to live.
    “Away from here. Away from all the people that use your house like it’s a country club. Away from Jenny and Jenna, who know you better than I do. Away from Alice, who washes and irons my thong panties. Mostly, just away from the press, and the fans, and the constant gossip about us. We don’t have to leave Dallas. We can just rent an apartment in a secure building. You can come here every day if you want. I’m not asking you to give up your home. I just need my own space, Colin. I need some structure back in my life.” She doesn’t look at me as she speaks, and her voice is still very quiet.
    The emotions that I experience in that second range from relief that she’s not leaving me, to shock that it’s gotten this bad without me really realizing it, to total and complete helplessness.
    We sit there in silence while I wait for her to go on, or for me to come up with something to respond with. When I finally realize that the ball is in my court, all I can say is, “I’m sorry.”
    She picks her head up and looks at me. “You don’t have a damn thing to be sorry for. I’m the messed up one here. I’m the one who can’t live like this anymore. This is your life, and you’re happy with it. You don’t mind living in the chaos.” With pleading eyes, she says, “I can’t. I’ve spent the last six weeks since I moved in trying to adjust, but I just can’t any longer.” She’s angry at herself, and that bothers me. I should’ve been more in tune with her. I should have realized that my house would be too much.
    “You’ve seemed okay. When I come home, you’re smiling and happy. You tease me, and make love to me like there’s no tomorrow. I have to say that you’re coming out of left field a bit here, baby.” This isn’t entirely true. Jenny’s clued me in on a few problems, but I never dreamt that things had gotten this out of control.
    “That’s because you’re with me. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, my happiness has become defined by you. And that’s got to change,” she says, with some life back in her voice. God, I couldn’t agree with her any more.
    “All right, beautiful girl. Let’s make some changes. Where do we begin?” Now, we’re back to where I feel comfortable. I get to fix this for her. I can do this.
    Charlie straightens up and wraps her robe around her body, hiding her tits from me. “I want Jenna gone. You told me that you only see her a couple of times a year when you visit your parents, but she was sitting in our home, uninvited by me. I’m assuming by you, also?”
    “Done. I just kicked her out of the house and asked Jenny to have her removed from the approved list at the guard shack. Look, Jenna is my past. I’ve helped her out over the years because there’s a part of me that feels guilty for all the shit that went down in high school. If she’s coming between us, then I’ll never talk to her again.” There’s never been truer words spoken; Jenna was a piece of ass. Nothing more. Nothing less. “What else, baby? What else can I do? If you hate our house that much, let’s move. Four fuckin’ walls baby. It’s just four fuckin’ walls,” I tell her, as I rub my hand on her leg.
    She gets a pained look on her face, but she begins to speak anyway. “I don’t mind us having house guests, but they can’t live with us indefinitely, and they can’t act like this is their home.” I can tell that she’s afraid of what I’m going to say, so I nod for her to continue. I try to reassure her that this is the kind of communication that I need. When I’m back focused on football, I know that I neglect the other stuff around me. That’s what I’ve done to her, and I hate myself for it.
    “I can’t walk to the refrigerator naked, for fear one of the hundreds of people who have access to your home will be sitting in our kitchen. I’ve got to have my space and my things. I feel