called.”
“Okay, thanks.” The sudden pang in my chest tells me not to hang up yet. “Hey are you still meeting my parents for dinner tomorrow?”
“Absolutely! I wouldn’t miss dinner with them. They treat me better than my own parents. Yuck, there goes the puking. This will go down as a memorable night in our books.” I hear her laugh again and it warms me. God, she sounds wonderful. I want to keep talking to her just so I can hear her voice. As I’m trying to understand my feelings, her voice interrupts my thoughts. “Oh hey, how are things going with you?” That one question throws me off kilter. It’s a simple question, but not so simple an answer. Suddenly, Beth’s face comes into view, and I lose my mental balance. I panic and mumble some benign answer about being fine and winning and abruptly hang up.
“Fuck, real smooth, Ben!” I stand there for a moment trying to comprehend what happened. She’s the first girl that’s stirring my insides up—making me feel something. It’s been a long time, and I cautiously welcome it. Then I remember how I ended the call. I’m a complete moron. And to top it off, I hang up on her. It’s a good thing she’s in Boston, and I’m here. Chances of ever meeting her or talking to her again are slim. As I walk back into the pub, I try to suppress the disappointment that our call ended so quickly. And I’m the reason for it. Pussy .
Standing in my living room, I take a moment to collect myself. I look over at the picture of Ben that sits on our side table. He’s in his rugby uniform and looks spectacular. It’s almost cruel how good he looks. I faintly hear Jenny dry heaving in the bathroom, and I know that I should check on her.
I’ve talked to Ben before, and no one can deny his hotness, but this feels different. There’s something in his voice. It draws me in, and it’s a total turn on. Who am I kidding? I can think and fantasize all I want, but the chances of us hooking up are slim to none. For one thing, he’s Jenny’s brother, and second, he lives in California. And let’s not forget he’s still hung up on his dead fiancé. But still, I can’t deny his call has me thinking more.
The darkness of night fills up my room. My eyes feel heavy as I replay the day in my mind. Besides graduation, the one bright spot is Ben. I could take and leave my parents, but Ben—he’s a whole other story. My body feels lighter as I let my mind drift off. His voice, as always, is low, smooth as silk, but with an edge to it. It’s like one minute he can soothe you to sleep, and the next minute drive you to a mind-blowing orgasm, complete with moans, torture, and ecstasy. The all too familiar tingles make an appearance down below.
I’ve been touching myself to Ben’s image and voice for a while now. How could I not? He’s hot! It’s easy to do because I’ve never met him. There’s no relationship history there, just his voice and picture. Simply stated, he never talks back to me or makes crazy demands. He’s never made me feel bad about myself.
Nathan did get one thing right about me: I’m a hellcat. I love sex. But it’s been a while since I’ve let anyone in. I’m focusing on making the best choices for my battered heart and me.
“Sam. Sam, I need you.” My dirty thoughts are interrupted by Jenny’s cries.
“I’ll be right there.” Time to go deal with her drunken ass.
Finally, I’m able to get some rest. Jenny’s passed out in bed with a glass of water and ibuprofen on the table next to her. Surviving graduation with my parents in the same room together went better than expected.
Dinner with my dad and Megan was as I thought it would be. He acted like he cared and nodded his head when appropriate in the conversation. Megan had her hands all over my dad through most of the meal. She’s a giggler also. What’s up with that? No wonder I need to set up boundaries.
When I tell him about my job, I’m not