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fruit,” they always said. Kadota and Gracie Jo were also unbelievers, ever since Romulus, returning from a disastrous dogsled trek through Lapland, told them that no Kanines were allowed in anyone’s Capri.
    Mona remained in the parlor. Although she deeply resented the clannish heresy that set the Figgs apart from the people of Pineapple, she didn’t want to miss a word Uncle Florence might have to say. Besides, she was holding down the most comfortable chair in the house.

    Romulus began the debate by announcing that he was certain of finding Capri on his forthcoming trip to Niagara Falls. His brothers scoffed.
    Of course millions of people had been there already, he conceded, but they had not looked where he was going to look: under the falls.
    Fido laughed out loud, picturing the faces of the honeymooners when Romulus led them under the falls. He was banished to the kitchen to join the other doubting Thomases.
    â€œPlaces, bah,” said Remus, who believed Capri lay in numbers. He had spent the past five years dividing the number I. “Once I get to zero, I’ll be in Capri.”
    Again the brothers scoffed. He could divide i an infinite number of times, but it would still be impossible to reach zero.
    â€œOf course it’s impossible—here,” he explained. “That’s why, when I reach zero, I’ll know that I’m in Capri. Romulus wouldn’t even recognize Capri if he found it.”
    The twins glared at each other.
    Â 
    â˜… “Capri,” the people of Pineapple said. “Why don’t those Ask Me Anything twins go already and leave us in peace? Poor Alma Lumpholtz went on one of Romulus’ South American tours and spent the whole two weeks hacking her way through the jungle. Only folks she met were some naked natives who didn’t even speak English. Not that Remus can speak English, not when he’s excited. Ran up and down Hemlock once, screaming 6-9-18-5, 6-9-18-5. By the time Harriet Kluttz; figured out that the numbers stood for letters of the alphabet, her beauty parlor had burned to the ground.”
    Â 
    Now Florence spoke. Mona listened intently.
    â€œBooks. All man has ever known or dreamed of can be found in books,” he said. Then he doubled over, coughing and choking. He waved off Truman’s offer of a slap on the back.
    â€œI want to go to Capri with you,” Mona said, alarmed.
    Florence didn’t answer. He sat breathless and spent, tears streaming down his cheeks.
    â€œPlease, please take me with you, Uncle Florence,” Mona cried.
    â€œCome on, princess,” Newt said, returning with a tray of cookies. “You know it’s not for real.”
    â€œAnd just what is that supposed to mean, Newton Newton?” Truman Figg spluttered. “Just because you aren’t looking doesn’t mean it’s not there. Why, I myself am on the verge of finding Capri. Ever hear of a Moebius band? Take a strip of paper, twist it once and stick the ends together, and what do you have? One side that goes on forever. Infinity. All I have to do is twist my body into a Moebius band and I’ll be in Capri. I’ve just about worked it out, except for one elbow.”
    â€œShow me, Uncle Truman,” Fido begged, carrying in a pitcher of lemonade.
    â€œNot tonight, Fido,” Truman replied. “I’m not quite ready for Capri. I still have to finish painting a sign. It’s going to read: HARRIET KLUTTZ, HAIR SETS & CUTS. Only $3.95 for a beautiful you (including shampoo).”

3. GOING, GOING...
    U NCLE FLORENCE isn’t here yet,” Mona announced when Kadota drove up to the Acorn Alley house the next morning.
    â€œWhere is he?” Kadota asked. “I just dropped Fido off at the car lot and I didn’t see him there.”
    â€œOh, no,” Mona wailed, leaping into the car. “Fido will spoil everything. Uncle Florence is probably still asleep in the bus. Hurry.”
    Kadota