has, itâs cancer of the uterus; like an octopus has eight tentacles, not eight testicles; likeââ
âThatâs not the same as what Michelle told me,â I join in. âMichelle can do something about those things. She can stop using the wrong words. I canât do anything about what Nan did in the home.â
BJ stares at me, blinking her eyes in an exaggerated way and I know sheâs debating, not rebating, whether or not to say something. âYou could buy her body suits that snap up in the crotch to make it harder to get her clothes off.â She blinks again. âAnd you know weâve pointed out stuff Michelle says all the time but she never learns. So itâs exactly the same as what she said about your nan.â
âI donât say that much wrong,â Michelle says. âYou make it sound like Iâm an idiot. Iâm a biologist.â
âYeah, you are, and a brilliant one at that. Book smart doesnât mean everything though.â
After a minute of silence at the table, Michelle turns to me and says, âMy friend Sarah, at work, says BJ looks like sheâs gaining weight.â
âWhat? Iâm not.â
Michelle shrugs. âThatâs what she said.â
âWell, Sarah is one to talk, I know. Sheâs not exactly easy on the scales.â
They continue to argue as I sip my Caesar. Thereâs comfort in their back and forth, in the loving bickering the three of us share. Like I imagine Iâd have with sisters if I had them. Sometimes BJ, with her cutting remarks, crosses the line, but Michelle often doesnât get it, and I usually give back as good or better than what BJ gives me. For a few minutes I donât join in the fray. I just drink and watch, like an outsider, a voyeur with full access to listen to these people without having to participate.
âHello,â BJ says, snapping her fingers in front of my face. âWhat do you think?â
âAbout what?â
âYouâre thinking about Jamie, arenât you? Youâre lusting after him.â BJ smiles the way she always does when sheâs said something sheâs not sure she can get away with.
âNo. I hate him. I can barely stand to be in the same room as him. Iâm not lusting after him. And I wonât. Ever.â
âOkay, okay. No lusting after the sexiest man anywhere near your garage. Of course you donât want to feel those strong arms around you,â BJ says.
âNo,â I say and slam down my napkin. Everyone looks at us and then the whispers and pointing start. Everyone who hadnât already noticed now sees that BJ Brown is sitting with us. I try to ignore it and whisper to them, âWhy do you think Iâd want anything to do with him? Donât you think he hurt me enough?â
âWell,â BJ says while Michelle says nothing.
âDamn it. You always think itâs my own fault, donât you? Some friends you are.â I stand up to leave before I hit something or cry, my two responses to this kind of frustration. Michelle grabs my arm.
âI have some really big news. Subject changed. Okay?â
I hesitate. BJ mouths âIâm sorry,â and I sit down. The Caesar is just too good to leave it.
âWell, whatâs the news?â BJ asks.
âI met someone,â she says with a smirk on her face.
âI thought you said this was news,â I say.
âYeah. Heâs new.â
âYes, but you met someone last week, and the week before, and the week before,â BJ says.
âAnd the week before the week before, and the week before that, then two days before that,â I add.
Michelleâs face is grim. âWell, I tried to change the subject for you. We can go back to Jamie if youâd like. Or I can tell you about the new guy.â
âTell us about him,â I say before BJ can open her mouth.
And as Michelle starts to tell us about her new