these two weeks each year.”
“What do you mean?” Now he had her interested.
“I suppose you’ll think it strange.” He continued gazing out of the window at the boats which swayed and bobbed restlessly on the wavelets. “I’ve sort of turned my holiday into an annual pilgrimage. I come back and visit the places we used to know and enjoy doing the things we used to do.”
“You used to spend your holidays together here?”
He turned to look at her. “We used to live here. She loved it. She came from London, and she thought it was so much fun to be able to walk beside the sea, or go up on the moor, or take a boat up the Dart to Totnes. I used to enjoy watching the fun she got from it all.”
“She died very young?” Susannah felt the question being dragged out of her, even though she knew it was an intrusion.
“Yes.” His eyes seemed to beg her to ask no more but she felt compelled to continue.
“What was it? Cancer?”
“No.” He looked down at the table and said very carefully. “It was suicide.”
She was startled, not sure that she had heard. “Suicide? But you said she was so happy.”
“She was - most of the time. But she had a tough life when she was young. She was very easily upset by other people’s attitudes.” He stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I don’t want to talk any more about her death. It’s not that side of her which I want to remember.” He smiled bleakly and made a little bow. “Thank you for letting me share your table.”
He turned and made blindly for the door, pulled it open and walked out. He crossed the pavement and the road without looking to right or left. Susannah’s heart was in her mouth in case he should walk under a passing car, but he reached the other side safely. He leaned against the rail, looking down into the harbour.
She felt awful. It was her prying questions which had upset him and brought back the bitter memories of his much-loved wife’s unhappy death. She should have continued to be withdrawn and not allowed him to engage her in conversation.
The young waitress came over to collect his cup and check the table. “Oh,” she said, “he’s forgotten to leave his money.” She looked across the road and Susannah could envisage her going out to trouble him for it.
“Don’t worry. Put it on my bill.” She drained her cup. “I might as well pay now in any case.”
When she had settled Susannah rose to her feet and pulled her cardigan around her shoulders. She went out and paused in the bright sun. He was still standing immobile against the rail, staring down at the restless water. She couldn’t resist crossing the road to his side.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” she said. “Please accept my apologies.”
He turned to face her. For a second he appeared not to recognize her. Then the dark misery in his eyes faded and he gave a weak smile. “That’s all right. You’d think that I would have more sense than to let a casual question upset me after all these years. Most of the time I’m fine. It’s not very often I let it get through to me.”
Susannah thought of how few real tragedies had afflicted her sheltered life. Even her divorce had been more of a relief than a pain. What would she have felt like if such a thing had happened to her? “You don’t have anyone you can share it with?” she asked.
He shook his head. “All we had was each other.” He smiled to himself. “It’s not easy for a man to find someone to confess to.”
Without conscious volition, Susannah realised they were walking along the promenade above the harbour. When they reached Haldon Pier they turned along it, strolling in the bright, fresh sun with the harbour on one side and the open sea on the other.
“Where did you live in Torquay?” she asked.
“We had a small house the other side of Brixham,” he explained. “It was nothing special, but Sandra liked it. We could walk along footpaths onto the cliffs above the sea and she said it felt as