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of books on the crowded coffee table. “I need you to do something for me, Xanthe.”
    I eyed her warily. “What?”
    She flashed a wry grin at me, brandishing aloft a sterile lancet. “I vant to suck your bloooood.”
    “What? No!” I jumped out of my chair as she advanced on me.
    “Come on,” she cajoled, chasing me round the sofa. “For science!”
    “Your mother knows what she’s doing,” said Dad with what I felt was unwarranted optimism. “She just needs a few drops, that’s all.”
    “Well … all right.” I submitted to the needle, looking away squeamishly as it stabbed into my skin—though, actually, I didn’t even feel it. In a few seconds, it was all done. “What are you going to do, take that into the university and get a colleague to run tests on it?”
    “No,” Mum said over her shoulder as she swept out of the room. “I’m going to perform animal experiments.”
    Zack and I looked at each other. Then, with a cry of “Not the bunny!” we pelted after her. We got tangled up with each other in the doorway; by the time we burst into the kitchen, my mother was standing by the table with a calm expression and a clean needle.
    “Marmalade!” Zack snatched the rabbit up and clutched it to his chest, probably causing it more distress than Mum had. “Mum, how could you try to turn my bunny into a zombie?”
    “Vampire,” I snarled. “And, yeah!”
    “I haven’t touched the rabbit,” Mum said. “That would probably have required more blood. I thought it was best to start small.” She moved to one side.
    The goldfish lurked sullenly at the bottom of the tank, looking distinctly peeved.
    “You mean,” I said, “if this works, I’m going to be the sire to a vampire goldfish?” I shook my head in despair. “Thanks, Mum. You do realize you’ve probably ruined my undead social life?”
    “I’ve decided what to name the fish.” Zack was hunched over, peering through the glass in fascination. “Braaaaaaains.”
    After he’d fled to his room to avoid a painful demise, I turned back to Mum. She was staring bleary-eyed at the coffee machine, waiting for it to percolate. “Mum, you’ve had, like, six cups tonight already. You know that stuff’s not good for you.” Or the rest of us. Mum got more focused and less practical with each caffeine hit.
    “I need it.” She rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Your father and I have been awake since the middle of last night.”
    “Go to bed, then.” I cut across her as she started to protest. “Look, I’m a solitary creature of darkness, remember? I need you to watch over things during the day—you can’t do that and stay awake all night too.” Iherded her out. “I’ll wake you up if my sire calls. Or if a howling mob brandishing torches storms the house.”
    As my parents got ready for bed, I wandered around, turning off lights and double-checking that all the windows and doors were locked. Still no sign of vampire hunters. I fetched myself a snack of—sigh—raw ground beef, resisting the urge to check all the windows again. I had to find something to take my mind off the possible assassins closing in on me, but what did a vampire do all night?
    When Dad poked his head into my room to check on me, I was sitting at my desk, spooning raw ground beef with one hand while I flicked through my favorite websites on my laptop. Well, there was only so much melancholic lounging a girl could do.
    Dad peered over my shoulder. “You’re Googling your own obituaries?”
    “I meant to look for vampire hunter organizations, but I got distracted. This is awesome!” I eagerly scrolled down the forum thread. “Look, Fang-Girls.net held an online fan auction in my memory—see, ‘The JaneX Memorial Fund.’ They’re raising loads for charity! And look at all these tributes on my profile page!”
    I yanked my fingers back as Dad firmly shut thelaptop lid. “This can’t be psychologically healthy, Baby Jane. Why don’t you go and read a nice