would go up there with a guy?” I asked. “Ludicrous.”
“Well, that’s kind of what I thought , but then I thought what the hell. So I climbed up there.”
“That’s like 20 or 30 steps? On crutches?” I shook my head.
“Twenty six. I counted. We get up there and dumb ass Matt looks at me and said ‘ W anna do it?’ ”
“Oh, so it was romantic,” I laughed.
“Funny” she smiled. “He reached over, touched my boob, pulled down my panties, and stuck it in. Convenient that I wore a mini skirt. Otherwise he would have gotten confused on what to do. Not sure he is smart enough for a button. He sure wasn’t smart enough to unhook a bra.”
“That’s a tender love story you can tell your kids one day. Did it hurt?”
“Funny you should ask,” she smiled, “It happened so fast I don’t think it did. I bent over he stuck it in and came. Like that.”
“Awe, just like a Harlequin.”
“Stop,” she laughed. “At least it’s over with. No more wondering, no more being nervous about it.”
“Can I assume he didn’t satisfy your needs?”
“He came so fast , I doubt he satisfied his own needs.”
“I think I really want romance and special and nervous. I want it to be perfect.”
“First times are never perfect. They say they are awkward and painful.”
“You just described Matt ,” I laughed , “ a wkward and painful. It sounds like it just took you a couple minutes. Why did it take so long to get back?”
“I had to pee so bad I was going to die. We had to walk all the way over to the wooded area so no cars would drive by and I squatted down to pee. I couldn’t balance cause of the cast so Matt had to hold me up.”
“He’s such a Prince Charming. Was that not totally embarrassing.”
“Duh, but pee running down my leg would have been more. Right?”
I was thinking not going to the ballpark at all would have been the better decision, but I didn’t want to argue.
“Well Erica, if you are happy, I am happy for you,” I lied, glancing at the computer.
Michael: I’m back
Alex: Same. I noticed your status.
Michael: I wanted you to
Alex: And what exactly was amazing? I saw Hailey liked it
Michael: I saw that also .
I waited for an explanation on why he wanted me to see his and Hailey’s Facebook posts.
Michael: I want to ask you a favor .
Alex: ?
Michael: I wanted to know if you had a friend that would be interested in a double date. I don’t want to exclude Derek and we still don’t know people in town yet. And I was hoping you had a friend that might like to hang out for the evening. Nothing serious.
I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to get off the computer as fast as I could.
Alex: It would be better if you asked Hailey. She has plenty of friends.
Michael: ?? Why her?
Alex: Isn’t that who you are going out with?
Michael: Uh, nope. You??? Sorry, I posted on your wall. I assumed you saw.
I clicked over to my profile page and saw Please go out with me Saturday night! This is me begging!
“Awe, look how sweet,” I said, showing Erica.
“Precious,” she mocked.
Alex: I’d love to! I thought with the status, you were talking about Hailey.
Michael: As if! (That’s me sounding like Hailey) Spot on, eh?
Alex: that was definitely her. You are so gifted.
Michael: I know, right? I am a pro at impersonations. Just wait. But I want to take you out. Can you show us around the area? Maybe a movie? Whatever you want to do.
Alex: Sounds great. And yes, I will find a friend.
Michael: I gotta get to bed. Tomorrow at 6?
Alex: I’m at Erica’s for the weekend. Here’s my cell number. You can call or text me and I’ll give you directions. 417 555 6652
Michael: Thanks for saying yes . I’ll text you tomorrow
Alex: Gnite
Michael: Good nigh t
“You want to go out with Derek tomorrow night?” I asked
“Hells yes!” Erica said, clearing our plates away. “How’d you ever land Michael?”
I didn’t know quite how to take that question.
“Just
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