both of us. I fumbled with one hand and cut the heater off, then returned my gaze to Kyle. He was watching me with a hooded gaze, warring with himself, his desire fighting reason.
I felt the same war. I wanted this with him. Here and now, I wanted him. Nothing else mattered. A voice in the back of my head reminded me of my conversation with Becca a couple weeks before. I pushed the voice aside. Kyle’s hands were roaming my belly, my sides, and returning to my breasts. He had both of them free of the cups now, and was exploring my breasts with his palms and fingers.
I shrugged out of my coat, and then, before I could second guess myself, I pulled my shirt over my head. Kyle sucked in a breath, a giddy smile curving his lips.
“God, you’re so hot,” he breathed, taking in my pale skin and the dark circles of my areolae and the pink buttons of my nipples.
I bit my lip as he cupped on breast, rubbing the nipple in circles with his thumb, squeezed my eyes shut in a rush of nerves, feeling suddenly exposed, shame fighting with desire. I wanted this. I liked this. It was okay, right? This was Kyle, my boyfriend and best friend and I loved him.
The last thought came a shock, drawing a gasp from me. I love him? Did I? My heart swelled and ached every time I was near him, and the thought of not being with him scared me. That was love, right? I wanted to be with him all the time, every moment.
“I wish I could see all of you right now,” he said, caressing my breast.
A bolt of need shot through me. I wanted him to see all of me. But here, now? Like this? I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.
“Not here, though,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth. “I want you, Nell. I’m not gonna lie.”
He withdrew his hands from my skin, and I nearly whimpered at the loss of his touch. I stuffed myself back in my bra, but didn’t put on my shirt. Kyle’s eyes were bright and intense.
“I want you too,” I said.
“But I want it to be right. I want it to be special.” He seemed to be struggling with himself.
I felt my heart squeeze at his words, and leaned forward to kiss him, taking his face in my hands. “And that’s why I love you,” I whispered, not thinking.
He froze, his eyes wide, searching mine. “What?”
I bit my lip, worried it was too soon. “I—” My eyes slid closed as I fought for the right words. I decided to own it. “I said, that’s why I love you. I do. I love you, Kyle.”
His hands slipped around to skate up and down my back before coming to rest on my hips in a familiar, sensual, incredible touch. I suddenly loved his hands there, wanted them there forever. His hands on my hips above the waist of my low-rise jeans felt perfect.
“I’m not gonna say it yet,” he said, then frowned. “I don’t want you to think I’m just saying it back because you did But I do.”
The thought had crossed my mind. “You do?”
He shook his head, thumbs rubbing in circles on my hipbones. “Yep.”
I smiled and leaned in for another kiss. “Good. You should love me.”
He chuckled into my lips. “Oh, I do.” His hands roamed up my sides, and I arched my back out to allow him access to my breasts. “Especially these. I really like these.”
It was my turn to laugh. “Oh really? Especially those? Just those? You only love me for my boobs?”
“Hmmm,” he pretended to consider, then slid his hands around to my back, hesitated, then descended to cup my backside. “And this. I like this too.”
I slid my palms up under his shirt and pinched his nipples, eliciting a squawk from him. “Try again, buster.”
He laughed and pulled me into a hug, whispering into my hair. “I’m teasing, Nell. I love you for you. For who you are.”
I turned my face up to kiss his jaw. “I know. I was teasing too.”
With the heater off, cold had snuck into the car, and I felt goosebumps cover my skin. Kyle felt it too and handed me my shirt,
Eric J. Guignard (Editor)