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lingers in the sixties. Parts of it never emerged from the fifties. The rural population contains a number of Cold War, bomb-shelter-type survivalists and more than a few renegade flower children. There are also increasing numbers of chronically under-and unemployed loggers and mill workers whose jobs have disappeared right along with spotted-owl habitats.
    Enterprising folks from those diverse groups had countered bad times by turning to agriculture, producing Oregon's illicit but cash-rich crop of marijuana, which federal and state drug-enforcement agencies obligingly attempted to obliterate. Busted again, in more ways than one, and drowning in their troubles, these hard-luck Joes would appear in criminal courts where right-thinking judges ordered them into treatment.
    Some of them turned up at the N.A. meeting in Ashland. They arrived in their heavy boots, flannel shirts, and bright red suspenders. Not necessarily remorseful but reasonably good-humored about it all, they joined in with the usual collection of housewives, waitresses, and professional men to form the nucleus of that particular Saturday night group. That nucleus also included several artsy-fartsy types, some of them no doubt connected to the Festival. The latter were generally better educated than the one-time loggers/hippies/survivalists turned ex-pot-growers; they weren't necessarily better dressed.
    The rest of the people in attendance were like me—out-of-towners, tourists in Ashland for the plays. Even on vacation—maybe especially on vacation—a lot of us need extra help in holding our own peculiar demons at bay.
    One good thing about N.A. or A.A. is that you can go to a meeting and take away only what you need at the time. No quizzes are administered, no grades issued.
    That night what I needed to hear was the Serenity Prayer. Repeating it in unison, I heard myself say what I had come there to hear: "accept the things I cannot change." When those words penetrated my thought processes, I lost track of the world around me. I thought about what I could change and what I couldn't.
    The baby, for example, was something I couldn't change, so I could just as well shape up and accept it. Now that I was calmer, I recalled how Jeremy had looked at Kelly just before he reached out to shake my hand. Glancing down at her, his eyes had glowed with concerned questioning and tenderness, too. He loved her, dammit. I probably shouldn't try to change that, either.
    Halfway through the meeting, I noticed that the fellow across the table kept zeroing in on me. Late fifties and heavyset, he tried to be subtle about it, staring at me only when he thought I wouldn't notice. Once I became aware of him, he seemed vaguely familiar. At the beginning of the meeting, people had introduced themselves on a first-name basis, but I hadn't paid much attention. Since I had never before set foot in Ashland or southern Oregon, it seemed unlikely that I knew him. No doubt the portly gentleman resembled a double back home in Seattle.
    When it came my turn to talk, I said something about how unfair it seemed that even after you quit using or boozing or whatever, your damn kids could still drive you crazy. That comment seemed to strike a raw nerve with almost everyone in the room. Drinking or not, being a parent is hell, almost as rewarding as trying to nail a scrambled egg to a tree.
    The guy across the table picked right up on my comment, giving the problem his own personal spin. "It's not just kids, either," he said. "Take me, for instance. Ten years ago, I dumped my first wife. It didn't seem like that big a deal. She was a Lulu with a mean streak five miles wide, and we didn't have anything in common anyway. Besides I was trying to sober up, get my life in order. I figured I could do better. And I did. I figured—‘What the hell? Better luck next time, right?' I mean, what do drunks know about picking decent wives? Found me another wife, a real beauty, too, but now…" He shook his