brain function, and perpetual hunger and aggression. Schlozman fictionalized the syndrome in his 2011 novel,
The Zombie Autopsies.
As he says:
In my novel, ANSD is the name given to the condition of zombie-ism by the World Health Organization. It is an airborne bug, spread in respiratory droplets like the common cold; though being bitten by someone with ANSD is a potent vector of disease transmission as well.
Let me be clear, though: all zombie research is theoretical. We don’t have an available walking corpse to capture, strap down, and cut up for the good of mankind, so certain assumptions need to be made on an individual basis. Though zombies are classified as dead, Schlozman’s theory is that they have beating hearts and that their lungs continue to take in oxygen. Other theories are built around flesh eaters that don’t breathe at all. Likewise, the Ottawa researchers also used their own specific set of parameters when developing their model.
No single theory will ever paint a complete picture of the modern zombie, and we’ll never know the full extent of the threat we face until the dead rise. But by taking a close look at the most compelling new and developing research in the field, we might foster a better understanding of the coming threat, thereby increasing our chance of survival as a species.
To that end, this section looks at the theoretical biology of the modern zombie, establishes its defining behavioral characteristics, and identifies existing pathogens that could be possible infection sources. We will also highlight strange zombielike animals from around the world and touch on disturbing current events that seem to suggest that all signs point to the coming plague.
7: THE ZOMBIE BRAIN
I n 2007, I attended
Wired
magazine’s fourth annual Nextfest in Los Angeles, a showcase of technological innovations meant to change the world. The convention featured dozens of exhibits, including a giant holographic fighting game, a single-wheeled motorcycle concept, and a gaggle of yellow dancing marshmallow balls. But the one demonstration that everyone wanted to see, billed by organizers as the premier spectacle of the entire show, was Kiyomori the samurai robot. So special was Kiyomori that it only came out of its fancy samurai battle tent twice a day.
Thirty minutes before Kiyomori’s scheduled appearance, crowds began to form along the rope, so I found a spot near the front and dug in to witness the future of robotics. My head swirled with visions of a fierce fighting machine that jumped and kicked and expertly readied its samurai sword for battle. What was about to happen? Would Kiyomori go haywire and kill an innocent bystander before wreaking havoc on the entire city? I’d seen
Robocop
; I knew the risks. Was this mysterious metal samurai a fateful precursor to Ed-209 or T-800? Maybe I should have sat farther back.
Ominous Japanese music started, Kiyomori’s introduction was made over a loudspeaker, and then it appeared. The robot hobbled forward on shaky legs, slowly moving to a fixedposition in the small ring. Far from an intimidating warrior, it looked like a tin suitcase with legs and arms in a cheap Halloween costume. Two nervous handlers stood on either side of Kiyomori, making sure it didn’t fall over. Needless to say, it was less than impressive to a robotics novice like me but paradoxically also not overbilled. Kiyomori
was
the future.
In March 2009, Japan’s National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology debuted its new female humanoid robot at Tokyo Fashion Week. The Center for Advanced Vehicles at the University of Tehran, Iran, followed suit in August 2010 with a shiny white biped called Surena 2. Neither is substantially more physically capable than Kiyomori.
Thousands of the brightest minds on the planet have spent decades tackling this problem but have yet to create a life-sized humanoid robot that can move through space as well as even the most awkward zombie.