Read Etiquette and Vitriol for Free Online Page B

difficult for him. He puts his head in his hands for a moment and agonizes.)
    FORD: Well—
    AMANDA: I drove you away! Didn’t I? We shouldn’t’ve gotten married. It was a bad idea. I’m sorry. It was my idea and you felt cornered, or something. Is that it? Do you want to talk about it? Is that it? . . . Are you tired? We can talk tomorrow. That’s fine. You’re probably tired. We can talk tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.
    (Ford rises, looks at her and starts to head for the bedroom.)
    We do love each other though, don’t we? I love you and you love me, so we love each other.
    (Ford stops. He turns and looks at her.)
    You’re in love with someone else, aren’t you! I can tell.
    (Ford moves towards her, reaching out.)
    I’m babbling. I realize I’m babbling. I find that I’m babbling. But you see, I’ve been cooped up here lately—not that I didn’t go out, while you were gone. I did. But not much.
    (He looks away.)
    Is there someone else? Perhaps we rushed into this a bit too quickly. But then, perhaps we didn’t. Time’ll tell. Wouldyou like something to eat? Are you hungry? We don’t have any food—but we could order something . . . if you have a credit card. I’ve lost my purse.
    (He sits again and struggles to find the words to say what he must. He looks around the room, scratches his head, takes a deep breath and just as he is about to speak, she cuts him off.)
    YOU THINK I’M UGLY, DON’T YOU? TELL ME, WHAT PART OF ME DO YOU THINK IS UGLIEST?
    (He rises to protest. She cuts him off.)
    I know I’m beautiful. You’re right. I’m a beautiful woman. I wasn’t always. When I was a child, I was painfully fat. Did you know that?
    (He shakes his head and sits.)
    I never mentioned that. Did you ever wonder why there are no pictures around here, of me? Before I turned twenty? Did you think I was a vampire? Did you think I had a Nosferatu childhood?
    (He shrugs.)
    When I was twenty, I went on a diet. I fasted for three weeks. I lost forty-five pounds.. I dieted all summer and when I went back to school I told everyone I was my own cousin. Isn’t that something?—YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO FAT!
    (He puts his head in his hands.)
    Everyone believed I was my own cousin. That was the summer my mother died. We had a house on the Cape. We went to the beach one day and she drowned. She went out intothe ocean and swam and swam and I never saw her again. Maybe she swam to France and became a chanteuse. I changed my name to Amanda that summer.
    (He looks up, surprised.)
    Between my sophomore and junior years at Sarah Lawrence. Betty was a fat girl whose only friends were society’s castoffs. Amanda had no more friends than Betty, but people assumed it was by choice. —Is it someone I know? The person you’ve found?
    (He rises again, about to speak. She cuts him off.)
    I can be Betty again, if you’d prefer that. My mother used to say you can be whatever you want. She meant, you can be WHOM ever you want. Everyone said she drowned. They said it was an accident. My father said, “Things happen.” I think she killed herself. I think she wanted to die. Maybe we should talk tomorrow.
    (He starts to exit.)
    While you were gone, I did some work!
    (He turns to her.)
    I’ve been writing as well. I wrote a new poem. I did. It’s very unusual—for me. This poem. I call it—well, I don’t have a name for it yet. But it’s a narrative poem, and well, it’s about this man. And he’s very attractive and very . . . loved. And one day, he finds himself married. And he loves his wife and she loves him, but he feels . . . confined, I think is the word I used. Maybe it was trapped. I can’t remember. You see he’s an artist and he’s very, very sensitive. (She is near tears) And he wants to get away, but he knows this willjust . . . kill her. The wife. This will destroy her, for