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didn’t you?” She digs, leaning in a little closer to me.
    I don’t look at her, instead I bite down on my lip and act really interested in my nails.
    “You did!” She gasps.
    “Lauren!” I hush her. “Yes I did but he said no.”
    “He was that harsh?” Lauren frowns.
    “No.” I shake my head. “His words were along the lines of, if he came in he wouldn’t be able to stop himself and he didn’t want to rush me. He said that he want to savour us and wait for the perfect time.”
    Lauren actually screams. Like, loudly squeals and jumps up at me. She pushes me down on the bed, smothering me and laughing. I can’t help but join as I laugh at how insane she looks.
    “Well what’s going on here?” We hear from the door and when Lauren finally gets off me, I see Grim smiling over at us.
    “Girl talk.” Is thankfully all she says as she joins him. They give each other a little kiss, before Lauren turns to give me a wink, leading Grim away from my room.
    Thank god for that. I do not want to be telling Grim what me and his brother did or did not do. I know exactly where it could have gone and I’m not lying when I say that I really wish it did. Devlin is one sexy man. I love his tattoos and I want to find the ones that you can’t see when he’s dressed but he’s right when he says we need to take our time with this. He’s not a mushy guy, so I really respect him for being the strong one. I’m not ready for sex yet, and Devlin knows that more than I do. I would have gone all the way last night, and this morning I would have woken up regretting every second of it. As much as I like Devlin, and I definitely lust after him, I’m not ready. I still have scars deep within me that haven’t yet healed. I’m afraid they never will.
    Right now, I will have to leave it at innocent flirting and trust that he knows how fucked up I really am and can wait. If not, then I know he’s not the man for me, but that would really fucking suck.
    I’m not like Lauren. I’m so happy that she’s been able to put the Devils behind her and I believe that that was mostly down to Grim. If it wasn’t for him I think she would be right where I am. Maybe not as bad, but still in this place that I’m in. For that, I’m glad. As much as I like to play the strong one, I’m really not. Behind closed doors, I’m that same scared girl who was left alone in a dark and dirty room.
    Demon left me with both physical and mental scars. He fucked my head up and there’s not one day that I don’t think about him and I hate him for that! I don’t want to see his face every time I wake up. It’s then I realise with shock that this morning, I didn’t see Demons face. For the first time in months, it was the handsome and rugged face of Devlin I saw when I opened my eyes. Devlin was my first thought and I place a hand over my heart as tears gather and drip down my cheeks.
    How fucked up am I? I’m crying happy tears all because I didn’t think of Demon when I woke up this morning.
    I quickly reply to Drew and Elise, basically telling them what I told Lauren and let them know that I will talk to them later. My head feels kind of numb and I need some time to myself. Maybe it’s to do with thinking about Demon and the rest of the Devils, I don’t know but as I strip naked to get ready for my shower I glimpse my reflection and I gravitate towards the mirror.
    I look in disgust at the ugly scars that I am left with. My whip marks are almost identical to Lauren’s, however I have more and mine look deeper because they were reopened many times. A quick flashback cuts into my thoughts and I shut my eyes, trying to force the image away. It’s no use, even as I go through day to day, the memories are always lurking in the background. I’m sure Lauren and Elise are exactly the same however we don’t admit it, but I see it there. We share the same haunting look and out of respect we don’t like to remind each other.
    Unlike Lauren and Elise