free
to share with you." He paused and looked at the two of them.
"Are you aware that the only certain way to kill a willow tree is
to bum it out at the roots?"
"I'LL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES....' 35
Conrad and Margot exchanged glances, and Margot raised her
eyebrows. "A willow tree? You went after a willow?"
Conrad shrugged and the chair creaked beneath him. "Wareen
the Willow. A real bitch. She wanted to pay me only one wish
a hit, but I took 'em all anyway and dropped all three oaks on
top of her. I've heard of willows walking, but there's no way she
walked away from that."
The Dwarf King grimaced. "Well, she may not have walked,
but Hector spotted a very irate stump crawling through the un-
derbrush. Which, I'm happy to report, is now just so much
willow-wood charcoal." The Rubezahl toyed with his ruby sig-
net. "Be that as it may, that still means that Wareen the Willow
had ample time to curse her wishes, unless you used them very
promptly."
The Dwarf King smiled. "I trust, at least, that you did proper
accounting, and know which wish is which?"
Conrad felt a sinking feeling and looked to Margot. "Did
you ... ?"
She threw up her hands. "What do you expect? I'm a witch,
not a bookkeeper."
"Ahem," said the Rubezahl. "I believe I offered my services
just in time. We'll have to do a very strict accounting to discern
where in the order the cursed wishes lie—assuming, of course,
those are the only ones—then we will need to devise some way
to disarm them so as to get to the good wishes behind them."
"How do we know they go in order?" Conrad asked.
"Because—" the Rubezahl began, then looked to Margot. "Do
wishes go in order?"
'They do with leprechauns. As for wood nymphs, well, I'd
expect - -." She stood up, looking distracted- "Let me go check
my Motif Index."
The Rubezahl smiled. "From the magic peddler?"
"Of course." She sighed, "I'd better put on the kettle. This is
going to be a long night."
"I take mine black," said the Rubezahl and pulled his stool
closer to the table. The squirrel and the mockingbird hopped off
his shoulders to take places on the edge of one of the book-
shelves, and he got out a large ledger, his crown disappearing to
be replaced by a green eyeshade and spectacles.
He sharpened a crow quill and dipped it in an inkwell that ap-
peared just as suddenly. "So, boy, who was your last client, and
what was the last wish you made?"
36 Kevin Andrew Murphy
Conrad leaned heavily on the table and it creaked beneath his
weight. "Well, the last one was Elena the Elm, this morning."
•Timer'
Conrad tried to scratch his head, but that was sdll hard with all
the muscles in the way. "About an hour after sunrise?"
The Rubezahl scribbled in his ledger, and the golden goose
honked and eyed the cup of tea Margot set before him. "No,
Gee-Gee. Here, have a crumpet." She cmmbled some into the
goose's bowl, then gave the rest to the squirrel and the mocking-
bird and her pet rats and mice.
The Rubezahl picked up his tea and smiled. 'Thank you. Mar-
got." A moment later, a golden mug with a fine head of foam
appeared in Conrad's hand, and the Rubezahl clicked his cup
against it- "Here's to a long and lucrative business association,
boy."
"Conrad," Conrad said.
"Conrad. Good. Let's be informal. You can call me Rube. To
a long and lucrative business association—and to better book-
keeping."
"Uh, sure, Rube." Conrad took a sip and smiled. Good strong
dwarven ale, most likely from the Dwarf King's private reserve.
*To good business and better bookkeeping." He took another
draught.
The goose looked up from her scone and honked several
times.
The Rubezahl put his pen down. "Indeed?"
The goose honked several more times.
Conrad set his beer down. "Does the goose want a piece of the
action, too?"
The Rubezahl inclined his head. "After a fashion. She thinks
we should coo! it with the