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and alter it like a river moving through rocks.
    I listened quietly and promised that I would remember the importance of being obedient and of learning how to “swallow the spit of others when necessary.”
    I had been ordered to be at the Gate of Zenith before dawn. Mother had spent her last borrowed taels and hired a sedan chair to carry me. It was draped with fancy blue silk cloth. Mother had also hired three plain-looking sedan chairs for Kuei Hsiang, Rong and herself. They were to accompany me to the gate. The footmen would be at the door before the rooster’s first cry. I didn’t fuss about the way Mother spent the money. I understood that she wanted to send me off in an honorable manner.
    At three in the morning Mother woke me. My being chosen as an Imperial consort had filled her with hope and energy. She tried to hold back her tears as she did my face. I kept my eyes tightly closed. If I opened them I knew that my tears would flow and ruin the carefully applied makeup.
    When my sister and brother woke up I was in Big Sister Fann’s beautiful dress. Mother tied up the laces. After all was set, we ate porridge for breakfast. Rong gave me two walnuts that she had saved from last year. She insisted that I eat them both for good luck, and I did as she wished.
    The footmen arrived. Rong helped me to keep the dress off the ground until the footmen lifted me into the sedan chair. Kuei Hsiang was in our father’s clothes. I told him he looked like a Bannerman, except that he must learn to do the buttons properly.
    The girls and their families gathered at the Gate of Zenith. I sat inside the sedan chair. It was cold. My fingers and toes grew stiff. The gate looked imposing against the dark purple sky. There were ninety-nine copper-colored cups embedded in the gate, like turtles parked on a giant panel. These covered the huge bolts that held the wood together. A footman told my mother that the wall-thick gate had been built in 1420. It was made of the hardest wood. Above the gate, on top of the wall, was a stone turret.
    Dawn broke. A company of Imperial Guards poured out of the gate.They were followed by a group of eunuchs dressed in robes. One of the eunuchs took out a book and began to call out names in a high-pitched voice. He was a tall middle-aged man with the features of a monkey, a pair of round eyes, a flat nose, an ear-to-ear thin-lipped mouth and a wide space between his nose and upper lip. His forehead sloped. He sang the syllables as he made the calls. The tune lingered on the last note for at least three beats. The footman told us that he was the chief eunuch. His name was Shim.
    The eunuchs dispensed silver coins in a yellow box to each family after a name was called. “Five hundred taels from His Majesty the Emperor!” Chief Eunuch Shim’s voice rang again.
    Mother broke down when my name was called. “Time to part, Orchid. Watch your step.”
    I got out of the sedan chair carefully.
    Mother almost dropped the box given to her. She was escorted back into her sedan chair by the guards and was told to go home.
    “Consider yourself boarding a ship of mercy on the sea of suffering,” Mother cried, waving at me. “Your father’s spirit will be with you!”
    I bit my lip and nodded. I told myself to be happy, because with the five hundred taels my family would be able to survive.
    “Take care of Mother!” I said to Rong and Kuei Hsiang.
    Rong waved and raised a handkerchief to her mouth.
    Kuei Hsiang stood like a wooden post. “Wait, Orchid. Wait awhile.”
    I took a deep breath and turned toward the rose-colored gate.
    The sun popped out of the clouds as I made my way to the Forbidden City.
    “The Imperial ladies walking!” Chief Eunuch Shim sang.
    The guards at the entrance lined up on either side, creating an aisle through which we passed.
    I looked back for the last time. The crowd was bathed in the light of the sun. Rong was swinging her arms with the handkerchief, and Kuei Hsiang held the box of