Read Emotionally Scarred for Free Online

bleach from a recent cleaning. If
anyone saw my eyes damp and asked if I was OK, I’d say my eyes were sensitive
to the chemicals. I had an answer for everything. I just needed someone to ask.
    “Since you’re new, I’ll give you some advice.” Someone spoke
in my ear, closer than I’m used to anyone getting. I shivered.
    Rafael, who I’d already identified as the most handsome guy ever ,
was leaning next to me. He had one elbow against the wall and his hand played
with his own sun-bleached hair. I don’t blame him; my hands would love to do
that, too.
    Rafael had the looks of a 1950’s movie star and he knew it.
He played it up, wearing a leather jacket with turned-up collar like he was
James Dean and said things like doll, daddy-o, and swell. Yeah, I’d been eaves-stalking.
Just a bit.
    And here he was looking at me, talking to me. What was going
on?
    “Advice?”
    “Don’t join the chess club,” he said.
    I let what must be a dumbfounded expression stay on my face
and spoke slowly. “But… the checkered boards are so pretty, and I like the
little horsies.”
    Rafael had the worn look of having to explain something to a
poor dumb girl and I worried I’d missed my shot. I raised an eyebrow
dramatically, hoping he got the point.
    A moment passed, then he chuckled and I let out a massive
sigh. Internally. Externally, I kept my cool and gave a flirty-yet-coy grin. I
was stupidly proud of myself. Maybe I could do this. I was beautiful on the
inside, and he would be the first person to see. And really, I’d kick ass in
chess club, but I’d never let anyone know that.
    “I’m Raf. That’s the other important thing you need to know,
new girl.”
    “Emma,” I said. I extended a hand to shake his, leaving just
one to hold up my books. They shifted, and I rebalanced them in a way that squished
my boobs up into prominence.
    “Oops!” I giggled as though I hadn’t meant to do the whole
thing. His smile in return was hungry, almost predatory. I could sense the
lusty excitement in him, but also something chilling, a darker emotion hidden
under his grin.
    “Careful, you’ll need those, for, you know, learning.”
    “No problem. I can shake hands and balance books. Get
me a job in the circus, I have the skills.”
    The bell rang. Too soon… I wanted this to go on forever.
    “Time to go, and you know, learn.” I rolled my eyes with
just enough eyelash flutter to be cute, I hoped.
    “Better move. I don’t want to get you in trouble on your
first day.”
    Right. I’d been here two weeks. Well, he’s noticed me now at
least. I had to give him a reason to remember me. Dare I?
    “I don’t mind getting into trouble sometimes, if it’s for a
good enough reason.”
    Raf bumped his shoulder into mine. “You’re a firecracker,
aren’t you? Say, you want to meet up after class? Hang out?”
    My lips trembled. “Sure.”
    “Come to Siren’s Haven. You know it?”
    I nodded, casually, like I went all the time. The abandoned
set of a failed pirate movie, still standing down by the river. I knew of it
because Dad was big into collecting movie props. Tacky replicas mostly, but
real stuff too when he could.
    “See you there at six, at the main pirate ship. It’ll be a
gas.”
    This was too good to be true. I hated that I doubted this,
doubted that there could be anything about me he’d find attractive. I was about
to split apart, torn between hope and suspicion. I scanned my surroundings for
hidden cameras.
    Jake headed off down the corridor. I skipped class, went to
the girl’s bathroom, and did the Snoopy Dance.
     
    ~*~
     
    I took so long trying to decide what to wear that I risked
being late. I ended up staying in what I wore to school that day: sneakers,
black stockings with enough carefully manufactured runs to look every-day,
short shorts, and an oversized dusty-red sweater. I’d spent long enough picking
it out in the morning anyway and didn’t want to look like I was trying too
hard. All I did was