Read Emily Taylor - The Teenage Mum for Free Online Page B

Not yet, anyway.
The most sensible person I can
find is an author, Hilary. What she says agrees with what my body
is telling me and most of the teenage mums say.
I thank Castor and sit out on
my old sofa in front of my cottage. I sew patches on where the
holes are. I wish now that I hadn't been so rash and had kept my
old clothes for patches. I watch the clouds come and go and the
waves pounding on the beach, and I watch the world through the
worm.
Teenage mums are fraught, they
get no sleep, they smack their babies, they leave them at granny's
place and go out partying and make more babies. Lots of them don't
have a steady partner and that makes then sad. It's tough being a
teenage mum.
Then I look at the
thirty-something mums. They are fraught, they get no sleep, they
want to throw their babies out the window. Their parents are old
and usually live a zillion miles away so the mums and dads get to
bring up the babies on their own with no support. All in all, the
teenage mums do better and are happier, especially if the dad
sticks around. They don't spend their youthful years chasing a
career when they know there's something more important, more
fundamental that they should be doing first.
     
I watch Azulay and Ijju.
I hope they don't mind. They're really happy; their halos are
pinky-purple and sometimes even tending towards white. Ijju's got a
lovely rounded belly, which she strokes and talks to. Zula has to
go on a caravan. Things are different now in the desert, there's
drug lords and warlords and religious fanatics all fighting for
power. If things carry on as they are the caravans will not be able
to operate anymore. This might be their last desert crossing. It's
lucky that Saleem bought the land for them in Algeria.
I watch the caravan in the
evenings. Zula often climbs up the dunes and watches the stars just
like we used to. I wish I could be there with him. No one would
notice, would they?
He often thinks of me. When he
lies down to sleep he dreams that I'm there with him in his arms,
making love. He loves Ijju through and through, and misses her, but
in his dreams he's with me. Most of the time anyway, sometimes he
dreams of other girls, but then that's boys for you!
I start lying in my bed
and dreaming of him when he's dreaming of me. It feels good! Then I
click my fingers and he's in my arms. He starts a little, but I
kiss him gently and he seems happy to be with me. We make love. It
hurts the first time but when we do it again it feels so, so good.
Afterwards I kiss him tenderly and tell him that I love him, then
click my fingers and he's gone.
Over the next few weeks
Zula visits me often. I only do it when he's dreaming of me. The
moment anything doesn't seem right, I click my fingers and send him
back to the desert. I wonder what Zula makes of it all. He blows me
kisses from his camel, so my charms must be working! It's so nice
having him close and I fall in love with him again, not that I ever
fell out of love.
Then I think better of it.
Something could go wrong. He could get stuck here and not get back
to Ijju. I might steal his heart from her and they'll split up. Do
I really love him? If I do, I need to let him go. I fret about it
for days.
Then I click my fingers and the
worm is gone. Now I can't peek in on his life anymore, not unless I
watch from the sentry moon.
     
    Weeks later, I
go and visit Castor. When I arrive, he already has an image of Zula up on his screen. The
caravan is in Taoudenni picking up salt. It's very different than
before and there's trucks and soldiers and an air of danger. I
don't want him to be there. But it's man stuff; I'll leave him to
it.
Castor gives me a wink and
blushes.
I look sheepish and blush.
'I'm sorry,' he says. 'I
couldn't help but watch your dreams.'
I slap him. 'You nosey so and
so,' I whisper. I want to scream but everyone will hear me.
'It's what we sentry slugs do,'
he says. 'You know that.'
'But it's my life, my private
dreams.'
    'Dreams? ' he says,
giving me