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sleep.
    Expelling a heavy sigh, I closed my eyes, promising to analyze my submissive-suicidal behavior in the morning. Maybe then I’d find some answers. Maybe I’d wake up and find the entire night was simply a bad dream. Well, I could wish anyway.
    Tossing and turning, I was still unable to switch off my brain. The clock on my nightstand, with its eerie green glow, revealed two o’clock.
    Suddenly there she was...Fanny-Frustration, wearing a smile so warm and loving, I couldn’t help but smile back. Graceful and floating with an ethereal white light, she was breathtaking. So glorious and beautiful. “Stop doubting. You’re only making this harder on yourself. You’re close. Closer than you’ve ever been. Don’t be afraid! He’ll reveal himself to you, but you must be strong. You have to be brave. You’ll have to pay a terrible price, but he’s worth it. I promise!”
    I was suddenly afraid. She had never spoken such an ominous warning in my dreams before. As I opened my mouth to demand she explain the cryptic message, she brushed a slender hand over my cheek and smiled. Then with the wave of her other hand, the image of the gorgeous black man appeared. His eyes sparkled and that mischievous half-smile curled on his sensual mouth.
    “He may not be ready, but you are. Never doubt what you are. He’ll eventually find his way, too. But you must be confident in your quest. Don’t falter and don’t hide. You’ll have to be willing to risk it all to find happiness. Don’t be afraid. You both need each other so desperately.” Her soft lips caressed my forehead, and she vanished as she always did, but this time Sir Drool’s image remained.
    I couldn’t stop myself. I reached out and brushed my fingertips over his full bottom lip. He blinked as if he could see me, too. His eyes grew wide in an expression of shock.
    “You’re here. I’ve been waiting so long for you,” he whispered. “I never thought...You have no idea how much I want you.” His eyes were filled with love.
    “Me?” I asked in stunned surprise. Just touching his warm, exotic lip infused a potent ache that stung me to the bone. He felt so real. So alive. His warm breath caressed the pads of my fingers as I stood before him, trembling.
    “Yes, you.” He nodded, swiping his tongue over my fingers, his saliva slick and hot. “If only I could touch you like this, I’d shower you with all the magic you deserve, and I’d never let you go.”
    “Please...I need...I want. Take me, I’m yours,” I begged.
    “I can’t.” And with a pained expression, he evaporated.
     
    ~*~
     
    Waking with a start, I sat upright in bed. My mind felt fuzzy, thick with fog from my dream. My heart squeezed bittersweet. He’d felt so real. Then the memory of his parting words and the misery reflected in his eyes crushed my soul. Without pause, the ghost woman’s words filtered through my head.
    “What horrible price do I have to pay? What the hell is she talking about? He may not be ready. That’s the story of my life.” I exhaled a deep sigh, wondering if the damn dreams meant anything or if they were my inner desires manifesting in my sleep.
    Glancing at the clock, I saw it was six thirty in the morning. It was far too early to try and analyze something that probably didn’t mean a damn thing, except that I was a certifiable basket case and should seek professional help.
    Maybe I should make an appointment with Master Tony. He was a Dominant and a shrink, I bet he could figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I dismissed the option as quickly as it fluttered through my brain. I had no intention of spilling my guts to anyone about my abnormal dreams. I’d somehow figure it out, hopefully.
    By ten o’clock, I was on my fifth cup of coffee and my second set of aspirin. My phone seemed to ring non-stop, and I had vowed no more shots of Crown the rest of my natural born days.
    Clients irate over pestering notices from the IRS kept me busy. While I