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My ability to articulate had apparently short circuited.  “ How long has this been going on ?”
    “S ince shortly after you killed Barnabus.” Alaina replied softly.
    “ That’s like two months!  And all this time you kept it from Kendall and me?”
    “Um…I knew too , Cee.” Kendall interjected from our bedroom doorway. 
    Oh, sure—s he wouldn’t go into the mountains with me, but this she gets off the bed for. “Sometimes Keith and I double date with them.”
    I pinched the bridge of my nose a s my head began to pound.  “All this time.  All the fighting and bickering.  I thought you two hated each other, but turns out it was just love play.”  My hands fell to my sides limp. With a slight lift of my shoulders I asked, “Why? Why all the secrets and lies?  Why didn’t you just tell me?” 
    All four of them seemed uncomfortable by that question.  Feet shifted, hands fidgeted, looks went anywhere but at me.  Alaina finally answered.  Even her usually soothing, made for radio voice faltered as she tried to explain.  “Well, it seems that as of late you have been…struggling.  We didn’t want to upset you further.”
    Heat rose to my cheeks.  “ What does that mean?”
    “You haven’t been the same since things with Alec went south, Cee.”  Gabe stated, his face somber.  I instantly bristled at the mention of Alec’s name. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you need to.” 
    “ There’s nothing to talk about.”  I tried to keep my face and posture detached, like this particular topic didn’t eat at me.  But for all my squirming I couldn’t conjure up anything that came across as neutral.  “Sometimes these things just don’t work out.  It’s no big deal.  I’ll get over it.”  At least the visible signs of my discomfort supported my fictional break-up story.  If they knew the truth…
    No.  That wasn’t an option.
    Gabe separated himself from Alaina and stepped toward me.  “If it was just the Alec thing, yeah you absolutely would.  But Grams told us about what happened with your professor today.  And that you wanna quit school. It’s a monumentally bad idea.  Whether you realize it or not you’re turning your back on your human life.” 
    “ I haven’t quit my job.”  Even I knew how weak my argument sounded.
    “Only because of lack of f undage, I’m sure.”  Keni leaned against our bedroom door frame, her hands hidden behind her Tinkerbell jammy pants. 
    Anxiety ma de it difficult for me to stand still, so I yanked my ponytail holder out and combed  my fingers through my snarled hair.  “So just to clarify, you didn’t tell me about your relationship because my life is such an abysmal failure that you didn’t want to rub in it?  Is that what you’re saying?” 
    Gabe shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  There was no hostility or resentment on his face, just blatant honesty.  “Basically, yeah. We feel bad because we’ve figured out how to balance our lives and our callings, and for some reason you can’t seem to.”
    Her face reflected her sympathy for me as Kendall nodded her agreement.
    Grams leaned her bat up against the wall and wrapped a comforting arm around me.  “We just want you to remember, honey, that it’s not all about the fighting.  There’s more to life…”
    “ Just stop!” I snapped and ducked away from her touch.  “None of you really get it!  You think you do, that you have my whole situation all figured out, but you have no idea!  For me, it is all about the fighting.  Because I’m the Conduit.  I’m the one the Dark Army is looking for.  I’m the one that hordes of demons want to kill.   Every moment of every day someone, somewhere is plotting my death.  Not yours.  Or yours.  Or yours. Or yours.”  I jabbed a finger at each of them, then stabbed a thumb at my own chest.  “ Mine. The sacrifices and tough decisions are mine to make, because it’s my calling.