Read Eat'em for Free Online Page B

me.
    “EAT’EM!”
    “Eat what? Why are you yelling eat them?” asked Mr. Universe.
    My fist barreled into his groin and he threw me. My head crashed into the urinal and a big bag of nasty softened my fall. Careful not to pop it, I rolled under the first stall so I lied next to the bleeding woman.
    The room rotated back to its normal orientation as I stared into her eyes. She looked young and lovely – her eyes crystal blue and familiar.
    I rolled to my back as the old man pushed open the stall door and loomed over me, a giant. Clinched in his tight fist was the disgusting mop – a shit-water stiffened pad barely hung onto the metal rod. He lifted it above his head.
    A sense of déjà vu came over me. Still, I had no idea who he was or why he was trying to kill me. 
    I rolled quickly under the stall, avoiding the crack of splintering wood and clash of metal against tile. Lifting myself up, I sat by the toilet opposite of the unconscious woman. The floor was covered in caked urine and twisted pubic hair from dozens of different dudes with a dire need of lessons in etiquette. In front of the toilet looked like some idiots had a pissing-for-distance contest not long ago.
    My attention turned to the missing chunk from the woman’s shoulder. The hole looked much smaller. At second glance scar tissue had already formed. It looked like she’d been bitten more than a week ago.
    “What the?” the words fell from my lips.
    “That guy looks like you,” Eat’em said from somewhere outside the stall, bringing me back to the fight, “if you swallowed another you that had already swallowed another you. Yes. He’s like the Russian Stacking Doll version of you! But with muscles.”
    “Thanks,” relief spread through me at the sound of his scratchy voice. “Any advice?”
    “Yes,” Eat’em ducked under the partition. He made a face at the unconscious woman and continued, “buy a DeLorean and go back in time to remind yourself not to be such an idiot. And bring me a drink from the future.”
    “If I make it there,” I said as the big guy slammed through the stall door, “I’ll think about it!” I slid under both stalls, back toward the urinal.
    “Who are you talking to, Jacob?” The brute followed me inside and outside the first stall as I rolled back and forth under the partition.
    Did he use my name again? In my confusion I couldn’t be sure. How would he know me?
    I rolled out once more, planted both feet on the swinging stall door and kicked it hard into the brute. I stood and ran into the door, pushing hard against a force much stronger than myself. I rammed into it repeatedly as he stood there like an unmovable wall. When I felt him push back, I dropped to the floor and planted both my feet on his ankles as the door swung open above my face. He stumbled forward slightly before catching himself. I grabbed the bottom of the door and pulled it over me once more, smacking him hard in his face and he fell back into the stall.
    On my feet, I ran toward the exit. I shoved past the bathroom door and crashed into one of the wet floor signs cordoning off the entrance to the planetarium. Balance lost, I stumbled and fell into the double doors, which flung open, toppling me toward a stairwell lined with theater seating. I held tight to a rail, spun on my heel, and momentum carried me headfirst into the stand for the projector.
    I slumped down, out of breath.
    “Disgusting, yes.” Eat’em sauntered to my side, his tail waving gracefully behind him. “Absolutely grotesque!”
    “Grotesque?” the word clattered against my skull.
    “You didn’t wash your hands,” the little demon stuck out his tongue as he sat on the step beside me. “Just kidding, yes.”
    I stared up at the curved ceiling, the long tiles normally hidden by the illusion of space. Constellations formed from architecture instead of stars. No Big Dippers or Orion’s Belts. No Pluto or Saturn. Those were a hallucination created by a small electronic