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unavoidable. And all part and parcel of the sort of day I’ve had. You see, when we got back, there were all these messages on the answering machine. Because it seems William’s idiot father up in Queensland has gone and had a heart attack.’
    ‘My god! Corinne – is he all right?’
    ‘Oh, yes – just a mild one,’ said Corinne airily, ‘and it’s his own fault, anyway.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘True. The stupid old man had a possum up in the ceiling, and he’d been laying traps but couldn’t get it. So last night, when the possum was running around overhead, he decided to shoot at it. Or at where he thought it’d be, anyway.’
    ‘He shot at it,’ Jill said disbelievingly, ‘from inside the house?’
    ‘Yep. Sat in his armchair and took pot-shots at the ceiling whenever he heard it move. But one of the bullets ricocheted off the metal light fitting and took off his left ear.’
    ‘What?’
    ‘Clean off. I ask you, have you ever heard of such a fool? And this is the man William wants to come and live with us. Over my dead body.’
    ‘And that’d be pretty likely given that you’ve got a double-storey house,’ observed Jill wryly. ‘You’d have to install bullet-proofing.’
    ‘And I’ve just had the upstairs recarpeted – so it’s out of the question.’
    ‘But hang on. Didn’t you say he had a heart attack?’
    ‘Yep. When his ear landed in his lap. Total overreaction.’
    ‘Corinne, his ear had just landed in his lap!’
    ‘Humph,’ said Corinne dismissively. ‘And now William insists that we have to fly up there tonight and see him. And stay a few days to see if anything can be done about his living arrangements.’
    ‘So . . .’ Jill spared a fleeting moment of sympathy for Corinne’s father-in-law before moving to her own immediate future, which was now looking considerably brighter. Which just went to show guns don’t always bring chaos.
    ‘So obviously I can’t host Melbourne Cup Day.’
    ‘What a pity.’
    ‘ And I’d just finished all the arrangements.’
    ‘What a shame.’
    ‘So you’ll have to instead.’
    ‘What a – what ?’
    ‘Obviously, Jillian,’ said Corinne crossly, ‘Emily can’t because that place of hers is totally unsuitable, and Adam can’t because. . . well, because he’s inept. So that leaves you .’
    ‘But I’m inept too!’
    ‘True. But haven’t you at least got a chance of carrying it off? I’ve already left a message at Adam’s telling him about the change in venue, and I’ll ring Emily as soon as I’ve finished with you. Not that she’ll be home, of course. And I’ll be sending William around in a couple of hours with everything. There’s the games, the prizes, the sweep draw and tickets, and . . . let me see, oh – I’ll send you my punchbowl. And I’ll send overeverything I’ve prepared for lunch, and for morning tea – you might as well use it up. So you see, it’s all done and you won’t have anything to worry about. And I’ll even write out a list of instructions – foolproof instructions.’
    ‘Oh good,’ muttered Jill, her head starting to throb again.
    ‘And don’t forget that Mum has to be picked up from Twilight Haven at ten. Oh, and Charlotte’ll be coming of course, she wouldn’t miss it for the world . And before you offer to have her while we’re away – it’s already organised. She’s staying at a friend’s house. And, yes, I know that you would have been more than happy to have the child, but I know how busy your house gets, so I thought it best if she stayed somewhere . . . else. William’s cousin will be bringing her over. Please make her feel welcome.’
    ‘I always make Charlotte feel welcome!’
    ‘Not her! The cousin . I mean, I ask you, how can you ask someone to bring a child over, and collect her, and not invite her to stay? What an idea. Besides, she was coming when it was here , so I couldn’t very well tell her she wasn’t welcome anymore. Ridiculous. I’m sure you’ll cope with