Read Dwarf: A Memoir for Free Online Page B

for her sewing. She always kept the door
     shut, and the handle was too high above my head to reach, which created an air of
     mystery about what was on the other side. But Nick was able to open it for us. Looking
     past the piles of fabric and sewing supplies, we focused on a tall shelving unit loaded
     with odds and ends that didn’t seem to belong anywhere else in the house. I worried
     that maybe I didn’t belong, either.
    “I’ll start here,” Nick said, pulling a gold and brown tin box down from a high shelf.
     He popped open the lid but found nothing but spools of thread, buttons, and scissors.
    I removed each book off the bottom two shelves and sat on the floor.
    “Be sure to look at every page,” he ordered. “A certificate could be stuck between
     the pages.” He peered inside straw baskets and took a few more off the shelf and set
     them aside. Then he grabbed a folder balanced on top of some clothing patterns, sending
     the whole pile toppling to the floor. Everything scattered across the rug, including
     a single piece of paper with a fancy green design adorning the border. Nick reached
     for it and my heart pounded in my chest. It was covered in bold, typed letters; a
     round, gold seal; and official-looking stamps.
    “What is it?” I asked anxiously. “What do you have?”
    He held it close and just looked at me. “A certificate.”
    “Read it to me,” I demanded. “Please!”
    “No,” he said. “I don’t want to.”
    My eyes brimmed with tears as I grabbed wildly at the paper,but Nick put his hand on my forehead and held the sheet behind him, keeping it far
     out of my grasp. After fighting him for a moment, I knew what I had to do. I left
     the spare bedroom and walked down the hallway toward the kitchen. It felt like time
     had stopped as I approached my mother.
    “Mommy?” I said in the smallest voice, standing by the refrigerator.
    “Yes, honey?” she replied while stirring a pot on the stove.
    “Are you happy about me?”
    She dropped her wooden spoon, which landed with a
clank
on the side of the metal pot. Then she spun around to face me and dropped to her
     knees.
    “Oh my God,” she said, picking me up and holding me in her arms. “You are the
best
thing to ever happen to me. Of course I’m happy about you!” she said, squeezing me
     tighter. I felt her chest heave and heard her sniffle. “Of
course
I’m happy about you,” she repeated. Then she let me go and looked into my eyes. I
     watched as tears ran down her cheeks. It made me want to cry, too. “I love you more
     than all the stars in the sky. What would ever make you ask such a question?”
    I didn’t know what to say.
    “Why would you ask me this?” she asked again.
    Still, I remained silent. I shrugged and squeezed my small arms as tight as they could
     get around her. I wasn’t expecting her reaction and all I wanted to do was hug her,
     feeling comforted by the warmth of her body and the sweet smell of her perfume. I
     stopped worrying about being adopted and took a deep breath, feeling like maybe it
     was all just a big mistake.
    “You may be little, you may be short, but I love you, because you’re mine,” she said,
     continuing to hold me. “You’re
mine
. Always remember that.” And I believed her.
    That night, I slept soundly under the tent Nick and I made together, and things went
     back to normal over the weekend.
    On Monday, I didn’t have the chance to tell Mandy I wasn’t adopted after all because
     Mom kept me home from school. I missed a lot of school due to my doctors’ appointments
     and surgeries. But on the days that I didn’t get to see my friends, Ruby would appear.
    “Play Cyndi,” she said, motioning to the play button on the Pioneer system. I hummed
     “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” in anticipation as the tiny wheels in the tape began to
     turn. I was wearing my mom’s jewelry again, feeling confident that I looked a lot
     like her. The domed heart ring turned circles