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know, right? Five years from now Julio and I’ll be looking at the video and he’ll finally tell me what he really thought.”
    Belinda chuckled. “Why don’t you really want the reception? And don’t give me that nervous crap either. I’ve known you for five years and I’d say you don’t do nervous. You don’t let stuff get to you and you’ll walk on fire to make your point.” She paused, watching Pam finger the threads on the pillow. “So what’s really bothering you?”
    “I’m not ready to share him yet.” Her gaze slid away from Belinda. “I am so in love with this incredible man, it scares me sometimes that he’s mine and that he loves me.” Pam inhaled and then blew it out slowly. “I keep thinking if we have the reception, it means the honeymoon’s over and I’m not ready for that. I just want to keep this wondrous feeling in my own box for a little longer.”
    Belinda’s heart ached as she watched old familiar emotions ran across Pam’s face. Her friend had found what every woman dreams of her whole life. Once, a long time ago, Belinda thought she had found love. It had been a fairy tale summer, full of laughter, romance and love. A spasm of pain raced through her as she thought about Donnie and Blaine. In order to function in a world without them, she’d had to bury their memories deep inside. Problem was, burying the best memories prevented her from making new ones. She was terrified of going through that type of despair again.
    “I get it, it’s like you don’t want to breathe unless he shares your air. You’re living in perfection and should do everything to hang onto it as long as you can,” she said in a wistful voice. When she caught her friend’s thoughtful expression, she cleared her throat.
    “Pam, tell them you’re not ready, and then tell Julio the same thing you just told me. I guarantee the pressure to have a reception will stop. As long as the two of you are on the same page…I mean, if you explain your hesitancy, everything will work out.”
    Pam eyed her. “You’ve been here…where I am…this crazy kind of 'in love' I mean?”
    “Yeah, a long time ago. It didn’t work out though.” She was startled by the hurt that lurked beneath the surface. All this time she was certain she was over the heartache from what she'd shared with the men in her life.
    Pam sat forward and took her hand. “You still love him?”
    The question jolted Belinda. “Love him? I don’t know. Plus it was two men, not one. I loved them both at the same time,” she answered, realizing she’d revealed a part of herself that she kept hidden for years.
    Pam’s jaw dropped. “Okay…did they know you were seeing them both?”
    Belinda understood Pam’s confusion. She'd never fully understood it herself. “They were identical twins, they knew. I can’t explain it now, just like I couldn’t explain it then. Being with just one didn’t feel right. Kinda like something was missing. I think God just created those two as a package deal.”
    “So you loved them, why didn’t it work out? And yes, I’m back to being bossy and nosy, but it’s only cause you’re my friend and I care about you. If you don’t want to share, you don’t have to.”
    Belinda shrugged like it was no big deal, even though her heart slammed against her chest. “I haven’t thought about them in a while, I can’t afford too. You know what I mean?”
    Pam nodded.
    “I’d seen them in high school, but they were upper classmen; tall, fine, and good looking. I do remember thinking they were hot. But my folks weren’t into the whole interracial thing, it was easier to lick my lips from a distance.”
    Pam nodded. “I hear you. My husband’s Latino, and we get funny looks when we’re out. People always got something to say.”
    “True. I didn’t see them again for about five years, they were home from college, I think they had just graduated undergrad. I bumped into both of them on the same day, both of them