this ridiculous plot of Pennyâs, but something stops me. A big, disgusting, faux-military vehicle in shiny suburban silver (reminiscent of Pennyâs momâs baby, I mean, Hummer ), complete with skinny mom in baseball cap, pulls up next to us at the Cheese Castle. The woman gets out, two kids barely visible in the backseat above the auto armor, and says to them, âIâll be right back.â Then she closes and locks the doorâ beep beep âleaving the kids in the car. You donât do that. Thatâs Mom 101. I saw this episode of Oprah about a mom who left her kid in the car because he was sleeping and she didnât want to wake him, and he died. Dead. Suffocated by hot air. My mom would never do that. But Pennyâs, Iâm not so sure.
âMa, I donât want you to worry. Donât ask how I know, but Iâm pretty sure Pennyâs all right. Call it friendâs intuition. You have to trust me on that.â
âItâs good to think so positively, Lil.â
âNo, Ma, I mean, I know, like, for sure that sheâs fine.â I wish she could see my face to read the certainty in my eyes.
âLillian, is there something youâre not telling me?â Iâm relieved to hear a bit of the suspicious mom in her voice, like sheâs starting to believe me.
âMaybe.â I laugh a little, trying to reassure her. And myself. âI think thereâs been a misunderstanding between her and her family, and I donât want you to worry about it.â
âAre you sure? Because that policemanâ¦â
âIâll call him and straighten things out, Ma. You donât have to get involved at all. No worries. Done,â I convince her. And just like that I get an idea in my head of how Iâm going to deal with this. âI love you, Mom. Iâll talk to you later.â
âLove you, too. Be good.â And she hangs up.
Josh watches me, one eyebrow raised. âSo youâre turning Penny in, just like that? Game over?â
âNot exactly,â I say guiltily. âI told my mom that so she wouldnât worry.â I look over at the Hummer. âGood moms worry,â I say.
At that moment, a police car pulls into the Cheese Castle lot. I start a bit, wondering for a minute if theyâre after me, but this is a Wisconsin state trooper, and I seriously doubt things have gotten this extreme that thereâs an APB out on me. The cop probably just has to get his cheese on. A female police officer steps out of the car and slams the door. I look over at the Hummer again, windows hardly cracked. âExcuse me, officer.â I barely recognize my voice as I walk toward the cop. I catch Joshâs panicked expression, knowing he probably thinks what Iâm going to do has something to do with Penny. Which it does, albeit indirectly.
âMay I help you?â she asks with a twinge of suspicion. I see her eyeing Josh, whoâs now sitting on the hood of his car, shirtless in his dick shades, dropping cheese curds delicately into his mouth.
âI just wanted to let you know that a woman left some kids in that Hummer over there. And itâs kind of hot out, you know?â I want to add that real moms donât leave their kids locked up in environmentally destructive tanks while gallivanting about inside cheese meccas. A real mom would bring her kids in and buy them cheese in the shape of mystical beasts. Or cows.
âDid you see where the woman went?â the officer asks.
âInside the Cheese Castle.â I almost laugh at how absurd that sounds. âSheâs wearing a powder blue baseball cap,â I add.
âThank you.â She nods her head and walks with purpose into the Castle.
âJosh,â I say, turning toward the shirtless wonder on the hood. âI donât want to go home.â
âYeah, sure, we can go somewhere else. We got nowhere to be.â He plucks a curd out of
John B. Garvey, Mary Lou Widmer