Read Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream for Free Online Page B

more you deny it to yourself. You: my nightmare; I don't care. You've conquered me. You, kookoo totally untogether, make me as irritable and changeable as you are, so I've made myself into your Rock of Gibraltar in order to capture you but I don't want you, I don't want you to break up your marriage, I don't want you to do anything that'll hurt you: I have to lose. But if you don't see
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    me tomorrow, I don't have to lose because you don't love me. So: real love is strange and any simplicity between us has to be a lie.
    I don't know what I'm doing. You're the only life I've known in a very long time. How can I let go of life again? You're my day and night. Forget it, little baby, he's told you clearly he doesn't want to have sex with you and he only wants you so he can revenge himself on his wife cause she once left him for a richer man. You are my madness. Come in me, my madness, and since you've already taken me, I beg you with everything that is me to take me. I'm sold, but not yet enjoyed. The day I'm going to see you I'm happy and the day I'm not going to see you I'm miserable. (My nurse enters and binds me up.) Nurse: Shut up, brat.
    Myself, to Myself: I don't talk cause I can't talk about you. I guess I am obsessed possessed. Spain needed a revolution, a far more profound revolution in fact than that being attempted by the Republic. I'm bound by cords cause you aren't fucking me. (Aloud, ((Allowed))) Cords're binding me cause you aren't fucking me. You're going away from me. Juliet: You're going away from me. It's still dark and black and hideous: you don't have to leave me yet. You: It is daytime; there are candles. The beginnings of clouds can be seen. Since this world for her light no longer needs the stars, like the jealous bitch she is, she's shut them off. Day like total revolution's waiting to infiltrate. I have to get away from you to keep my life going.
    Juliet: The light's that's coming within you for me's as violent as mine for you. As you say we've nothing to do with nature: the fire between us competes with the sun. I'll keep your unnatural solitary fire going! I'll follow you in disguise. You don't need to ever leave me. Don't go.
    You: OK. I'll stay with you and I'll die. I give way to your love: These beginning light lines in the sky are the streaks of blood on your colorless unspeakable thighs. The unseeable approaching daylight isn't a day but just moon to your energy and grace. Since without you I die and with you I die, I chose
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    to die with you, my life, and besides, I've no choice. It's dark and black and hideous still.
    Juliet, resigning herself: Go. Get out. This world stinks. We can't pretend this world doesn't exist. The Fascists have taken over. All that's natural and beautiful're dividing us. Since natural is now unnatural and unnatural is natural, those who love can't know. How should I know what to do? It is the day: get away from me!
    Dear Peter,
    Please understand me. Please believe what's in my mind at this very moment. I do everything you want. Now you want to be away from me cause you're fucking your wife. You're the only one I love and this moment's infinite. I'd do anything to phone you right now. Cause I can't phone you, I hate you. Cause I hate you, I'm never going to phone you ever again, cause I hate you. I'll say your name so the whole world'll know, cause what you fear most, your only morality, is what you think other people (whether or not they know you)'re thinking of you. King Sunny Adé. King Sunny Adé, I hate your guts. You were my sun and your house was my home and you threw me out like a kid without a home, (you) saying, All you want is security so you don't love me at all,' and then you didn't even understand that I love you. That's why this moment's infinite.
    Why do I like you cause I know you're so self-righteous you'd holocaust the universe faster than Margaret Thatcher; you don't understand what art is cause you're so scared of your wildness with which, you