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wonder why Misty thought I would be excited about something that would twist me all up in knots like that poor tree, but I forced myself into pretending to have an open mind. As the two of us lay on our backs, Paul and Mr. America went back to the truck to fetch the rest of the camping gear.
    As I grudgingly lay in “the vortex,” I began to sense a spinning sensation. It didn’t make me dizzy and nauseous like any other whirling motions did. I felt light and airy, almost exhilarated.
    “I think I do feel it,” I finally allowed myself to admit. I lifted my head for a moment to see if I could catch a glimpse of this “spiritual energy.” It was still just a river, rocks, and trees.
    “Can I ask you something?”
    “Fire away,” Misty replied.
    “You said you live this way because you’re aware of your mortality. How did that happen? Did you just wake up one day and say to yourself, ‘I’m going to die someday; let’s party’?”
    Misty giggled.
    “Hardly. I used to be a CPA. My husband and I owned a firm together.”
    “Husband, huh?”
    “Yeah, I had a son too. Jacob.”
    I had a feeling this story wasn’t going to end well, but I was clearly obligated to ask.
    “What happened?”
    “Well, we were living your typical suburban life. We worked too much, concentrated on all the wrong things—you know, material things. We didn’t spend enough time with our son. We were so caught up with the idea of getting ahead that we didn’t realize how much of our lives we were wasting. Then, in a flash, it was all gone.”
    “What do you mean? What happened?” I asked, one-hundred-percent certain I didn’t want to hear the answer.
    “Nine years ago, both my husband and Jacob were killed in car accident.”
    “I’m so sorry.”
    “Thanks,” she muttered, unaffected by my ridiculous apology. “A teenager drag racing. Some dumb-ass kid whose life was never the same either.”
    “So, how did you handle it?”
    “My whole world fell apart, as you might imagine. I tried to maintain the firm and go on with my life, but it just didn’t work. I didn’t care anymore. I realized that I’d wasted so much of my time pursuing useless endeavors. I did all the things society dictates we do. I was existing, not living. So I sold the firm and decided to actually live my life. I did it out of respect for John and Jacob, because neither one of them had a chance to live theirs.”
    “So you’re a boozie with a master’s degree?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
    “Hey, cocktail waitressing actually pays pretty well, and it’s totally flexible. My manager, Max, lets me take time off whenever I need to. There’s always someone wanting to pick up more hours. When I leave work, I don’t give it a second thought.”
    “How does Paul fit in?” I asked.
    “ Paul feels the same way I do about life. He owns a little construction company in Flagstaff. He loves his work, but he knows when it’s time to play. This is the first place we went together after we met in Peru. Right here in this vortex. I think that’s why we like to come here so often.”
    “Do you plan to get married?”
    “No, actually. I think because we don’t live together and don’t see each other day in and day out, we appreciate each other all the more. We cherish the time we have together, and don’t take each other for granted. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
    I pondered what Misty had said while I continued to soak up the energy of the vortex by the stream at the base of Cathedral Rock. She was the first person I had ever met who seemed genuinely content. But what a price she had to pay to get there . The mere thought of such magnanimity made me feel incredibly selfish. It must be infinitely more painful to lose your child than your own life, and to lose a husband as well. Of course, I could only imagine.
    At times, I had secretly hoped that Evan would just disappear. My mind wandered back to the time when I had first met him. I was still