Toast’em
Firebreath, and... er... anyone else who crosses my path.’
The dragon was silent. Digory heard the scratching and scuffling of clawed feet.
‘WHY SHOULD I BE AFRAID OF YOU, SIR DIGORY? THESE JAWS OF MINE HAVE SNAPPED OFF THE HEADS OF A THOUSAND KNIGHTS.’
Digory swallowed hard. He tried with all his might to imagine that there were a thousand knights behind him.
‘You should be afraid, dragon,’ he replied, ‘because these are the fiercest knights in the land.’ He rattled his armour for effect. ‘One of them slayed the Great King Troll and another killed a two-headed sea serpent with his bare hands.’ Digory was quite pleased with this. Making up stories was just like making up songs.
The dragon grunted, as if deciding whether to believe him or not. But Digory was just beginning to enjoy himself. He found it easy to imagine things in the dark.
‘All my knights carry magic swords,’ he continued. ‘They can change any creature to stone with just one strike. I, myself, have slain one hundred mountain lions with a catapult while wrestling with the Ferocious Four Fanged Beast of Batty Woods, single-hand-ed.’
Now Digory was really feeling the part. He slapped his thigh with his gauntlet and it made a deafening clatter.
‘WELL, I HAVE THE BONES OF A HUNDRED THOUSAND KNIGHTS FOR MY BED,’ boasted the dragon. ‘MY NOSE IS AS KEEN AS THE WIND AND MY EYES ARE SHARPER THAN THE EYES OF AN EAGLE. MY CLAWS CAN RIP DOWN CASTLE WALLS AND MY LONG TONGUE MAY PICK A JUICY MAIDEN FROM HER BED. AND WHEN I HAVE DEVOURED MY FILL I DRINK THE FIRE OF VOLCANOES FOR MY THIRST.’
But this did not frighten Digory, now standing proudly at the head of a great army.
‘Ha! What good are your eagle eyes against a wizard’s spell?’ he jeered. ‘I have twenty wizards in my army who will make gruesome spirits appear before your eyes and tie your tongue into a knot that may never be undone. At my command they will turn your claws into ribbons and your keen nose into a pumpkin.’
‘BUT I HAVE SET ALIGHT GREAT FORESTS WITH MY BREATH!’ bellowed the dragon.
Digory the Invincible laughed. ‘And I have the teeth of a hundred dragons on my helmet!’
As he listened to the booming echo of his own words Digory felt as fearless as a true knight. He drew Burdock’s sword from its scabbard and the sound of a hundred swords drawn echoed through the cave.
But, as Digory took one step forward into the darkness, he heard a small, whimpering snivel.
‘Oh, please don’t harm me. I’m only small really,’ sobbed a trembling voice. ‘I haven’t been telling the truth. I can’t really tear down castle walls with my claws. I’ve never even seen a castle. In fact, I’m still so young that my claws aren’t even grown yet.’
Digory, who’d worked himself up into a great state of heroic chivalrousness, felt suddenly disappointed.
‘You mean you aren’t a jaw-dripping, flesh-ripping, bone-crunching, snout-snarling, bloodthirsty dragon after all?’ he said in amazement.
‘Oh, no, Sire,’ snivelled the dragon. ‘The jaw-ripping, snout-thirsty one is Horrible Gnasher, my father. This evening we set off on my first hunting trip, but I got lost in the woods. I found my way home and now I’m waiting for him to return. He’s going to be so angry when he gets back. He’ll be really mad. Really, horribly, blood-spittingly, bone-gnash-ingly furious.’
Digory heard the little dragon sniff his tears away and suddenly felt ashamed of himself.
His father had always brought him up to tell the truth and here he was telling dragon-sized porkie-pasties in order to trick a poor creature who’d never done him any harm.
‘Quick,’ cried the dragon in a trembling voice, ‘I can hear my father’s great wings beating over the woods. You’d better flee with your army of knights before he scorches you all to cinders!’
Digory didn’t need to think twice about the dragon’s advice. ‘Thank you for your warning,’ he
A. A. Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)