unblinking, the force of his stare a hair shy of intimidating. All of his attention was focused entirely on her, and the weight of that unwavering regard was a reminder of how rarely he appeared undistracted. “Or you can’t believe it doesn’t matter?”
The truth hurt. “Perhaps I was an experiment.”
Someone else might have rushed to deny it. Nate simply frowned. “Would you like my honest opinion?”
“I’d be startled if you gave me any other kind.”
“The journals start the night he saved you. I imagine he’d been experimenting with one thing or another all along. The thrill of invention is more addictive than the bottle. But you mattered. Maybe it was only guilt at first, but every project he worked on was meant to make you safer.”
It was the rationalization she needed to reconcile the careful, serious old man she’d known with the revelation of his true identity. The perfect words…if only she could believe them. “Tell me why he left the Guild.”
Nate sighed and looked away. “The final straw. The Guild started making hounds before the formula was complete. The new moon and the full moon—those are side effects that never should have happened. Ephraim wanted to put a stop to it then, but they convinced him the need outweighed the ill. And every time they needed something else, they’d promise him. One more group of hounds, and they’d let him fix the formula.”
“Only they never did?”
“It was never their priority. Stronger bloodhounds. Faster. Hardier. Willing and able to withstand torture and pain, go without sleep. They pushed him to push every human boundary, even asked him to take their free will.”
It made her betrayal and pain seem petty. “I see.”
“I didn’t.” Nate’s smile was a little crooked. “He left. I stayed. And the Guild made sure we all learned better than to disappear.”
One question remained unanswered. “Then how did you end up in a place like Iron Creek instead of some workshop in Pittsburgh or New York?”
His smile grew. “I was being encouraged to rethink my lack of enthusiasm for a certain project of which I’d expressed disapproval. I imagine the lack of culture and comfort to be found in Iron Creek was meant to bring me around to a more agreeable state of mind.”
Diana was hard-pressed to think of anything less likely to work on someone like him. “They thought you’d knuckle under after a few months on the harsh frontier?”
That made him laugh. “Well, I’d certainly given them reason to believe I would. I was rather accustomed to my comforts and my luxuries. Becoming a half-vampire abomination is the second drastic change in direction my life has undertaken. You might not have cared much for me the last time I wore this face.”
“When you were young?” The arrogant spark couldn’t be new, but it was also tempered by his wisdom. Without that… “Yes, I imagine you could be a turd.”
“I started working under Ephraim when I was seventeen, and that’s probably the only thing that kept me from being a complete monster. At least with him around, I always knew I wasn’t the smartest man in the room.”
“A peculiar concern.” One she’d never had to worry about.
“The concern of a self-absorbed ass who needed a reason to feel superior to everyone around him.” Nate leaned forward and dropped a hand to cover hers. “If I ever slip into that sort of behavior again, do me a great favor and punch in a few of my teeth.”
She turned her hand and wrapped her fingers around his. “The last thing you should do is encourage me to express myself through violence. I do it often enough, don’t you think?”
“Ah, and that makes me a glorious hypocrite.” He squeezed her hand, his expression amused. “I don’t like to think of people hitting you, but I’ve no particular problem imagining you hitting people.”
“Then I promise,” she murmured, mortified at her breathless tone. “A good wallop to the kisser if you
The Secret Passion of Simon Blackwell