– it will get smaller.’
He glanced up and just briefly his eyes met Ben’s. They both knew he was lying about that as well.
*
Every day, Sam was there in Ben’s mind. He thought about her when he got up in the morning and while he ate his breakfast. He wondered what she was doing as he sat through lessons, and where she was when he stood out in the grounds of the home and stared unseeing into the distance.
He spoke to her, though he knew she couldn’t hear. He imagined how she would reply – what she’d say, how she’d look as she said it. Some days he imagined she had her hair tied back. On others it flopped forward, round her face, and she tucked it behind her ear.
But every day, Ben missed her. Every day, his heart felt like it had a heavy, cold stone in it. Every day, the excitement grew as he moved closer to seeing his sister again. On his birthday. By the lake. Like she’d promised.
Two weeks after Sam disappeared, the morning of Ben’s fourteenth birthday was cloudy and grey. But to him it felt as if the sun was shining. He could barely wait until the afternoon. He hadn’t been back to the lake since Sam went – he didn’t wantto be there without her. That would be too sad and empty for words.
He could hardly eat any lunch. As soon as the afternoon lessons were over, he slipped away.
‘Where are you going?’ Jaz asked, seeing Ben get his coat from under the stairs.
‘Out.’
‘Out where?’
Ben shrugged. ‘Just out. That’s all.’
‘But it’s cold. I think it’s raining.’
Ben didn’t reply. He pulled his coat on and headed for the main door.
‘Can I come?’ Jaz asked.
Ben shook his head. ‘I’d rather be on my own.’
‘But it’s your birthday. Are you sure you don’t want company?’
‘Sure.’
Jaz nodded. ‘Take care,’ he said. ‘Don’t get daft. See you later, OK?’
‘OK,’ Ben agreed, and stepped out into the rain.
*
Ben could feel the anticipation growing within him. He had reached the narrow, muddy path round the lake. In the distance he could see the boarded-up house that he couldn’t remember ever living in. Hewalked faster and faster, breaking into a run as he turned the corner and saw the distant silhouette of the rotting wooden jetty.
And through the rain he saw a figure waiting at the end of the jetty, looking out across the lake. Waiting for him.
‘Sam!’ he yelled. ‘I’m here – I’m coming!’
Ben sprinted full pelt down the slight slope towards the shore. He skidded to a halt, almost slipping over in the mud, as he reached the wooden planking. He could remember Sam’s warning a year ago, could hear her voice in his memory as she told him not to go out on the jetty. Then he saw that the figure standing, waiting, was just the broken wooden mooring post sticking up from the broken planks.
Desperate now, Ben looked all round, knowing she was here somewhere, expecting her at any minute to step out of the evening’s gathering darkness and grab him in a hug.
But there was no one. Sam wasn’t there.
*
Time seemed to stand still. Only the steady beat of the rain on the wood and the water measured the seconds, the minutes – the hours – that Ben sat there on the side of the jetty.
Finally, as the night closed in around him and the rain slowed again to a persistent drizzle, he wiped the water from his eyes and stood up.
‘Hello, Ben,’ Sam said.
And his eyes were immediately full of water again. So many tears he could barely see her, so much relief and love he could barely feel her holding him.
‘I knew you’d come,’ he managed to say between his sobs.
‘I said I would. I’ll always be here for you Ben. I promised. I’ll always be here when you need me. Really I will. I won’t be far away.’
‘You’re not leaving me again?’ Ben said, blinking back the tears.
‘I have to. I’m sorry. So sorry.’
Ben felt his hand slip from Sam’s grasp – like she wasn’t really there at all. ‘Don’t go! I only just
Piper Vaughn & Kenzie Cade