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here early.”
    “I’ll think about it.”
    “That’s cool. Listen, I’ve got to get the rest of the gear for today, but I’ll catch up with you after training, okay? Bye!”
    She leaned over and gave me a quick smooch on the cheek like we were long-lost BFFs. We’d never had a huggy kind of friendship before; she’d always been the shy and reserved type. By the time I got over the shock, she was out the door.
    Maybe that hadn’t really been Darcy. It might have been an alien clone.
    I took a seat at the back of the dojo, telling myself I wasn’t wussing out; I was just respecting the rule about senior students not training without a gi. The students organized themselvesinto meticulous rows behind Sensei and bowed to the
kamidana
to officially begin the class. He began to lead them through the
gogyo
, a series of moves representing the five elements. I had always loved
gogyo;
it was amazing how each move felt different, like the elements were actually channeling through me. I liked the flash and arc of fire and the heaviness of my feet in earth, the buoyancy of air and the liquid way the moves rippled into one another in water.
    Void was the most difficult element to master; everyone said so. But this time, something clicked as I watched Sensei punch, toss an imaginary
metsubishi
, and kick. I stood up without even realizing it and pictured the man from the alleyway, struck him with one hand, threw a
metsubishi
into his eyes to obscure his vision, shifted to kick. The moves blended together so it felt like I was striking from all directions at once. Being everywhere. Being void.
    Once I started, I couldn’t stop. The familiar cadence of moves carried me out of myself; all conscious thought ceased. I forgot all the angsty emo crap for a while and just moved. When the hand fell on my shoulder, it was like coming back to earth.
    “Yes!” Sensei said. “That’s exactly it.”
    I stopped midkick and bowed to him hastily. “I’m very sorry, sir. I know I’m out of uniform. I’ll bring my gi next time.”
    “Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said. “You’re not here.”
    I looked down at myself, trying to figure out what he was talking about.
    “You’re everywhere and nowhere, right?” He punched me lightly on the shoulder, the way he used to when he made a joke, regardless of how dumb it was. “You’re void, right?”
    Now I couldn’t keep from smiling. “Something like that.”
    The flash of humor on his face was gone so fast, I almost thought I’d imagined it. “It is good to have you back,
Kunoichi
,” he said, bowing deeply.
    Tears sprang to my eyes, sudden and surprising. But I kept my voice steady and returned the bow. “It’s good to be back, Sensei.”
    He straightened and winked, mercurial as always. “Now sit down, or I’ll have to bust your butt for breaking my rules.”
    I plopped back onto the bench, and he returned to the other students, moving among them, making jokes, correcting with a light touch of the arm or a potato smack to the head. Then they moved into some basic sword strikes, and it was so hard to sit when my muscles itched to move, ached to quit surviving and start living again. Finally I’d found something that hadn’t changed. If I could recapture ninjutsu, I could get everything else back too. Screw that theoretical brain tumor and the horse it rode in on. I was probably all freaked out over nothing. Heck, maybe I’d gotten roofied. Sad but true, that thought was reassuring. Here was a rational explanation that didn’t involve my dying at the end, and it was totally feasible! That was why I’d hallucinated. No relapse. No metastases. No need to panic.
    The wave of relief made me literally rock back in my seat;it hit me that hard. I was going to be okay, and I was going to train again. I didn’t have the stamina to pull off a ninety-minute class. Not yet, but I would.

    After class was over, Darcy pounced before I could even stand up from my bench. She was