the entrance still strung with sagging Christmas lights. Calder pulled into a spot alongside the pool but near my parents’ room. The brass number 12 hung askew above the peephole in their door.
Sophie peeled her sweaty legs off the vinyl seat with a ripping sound and climbed out. She ran to the motel room door and knocked. In the brief second it was open, I saw Mom packing and the blue flicker of the television reflected in a mirror.
“I’m telling him now,” I said. “Before they leave. Maybe you’ll get your wish and he’ll change his mind about going back.”
“Please rethink this, Lil. He’s gone his whole life not knowing.”
“You probably don’t need to worry so much,” I said with a sigh. “I doubt he’s going to believe me.”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Calder said. His hand came to rest on my knee. I could feel the tingle of electricity in his fingertips, stimulating my muscles, making them jump. “He’ll believe you. You can trust me on that.”
I turned away from the door to look squarely at him. He brought his arm back to the steering wheel. “Why are you so sure?” I asked.
“Not believing you and not wanting to believe you are two different things. As soon as you start explaining, he’ll believe you. In his heart, he might already know.”
“You’re sure?” I turned back to stare at Number 12.
“Without a doubt.” He stroked my hair now and my confidence grew exponentially.
“Okay,” I said, releasing all the air from my lungs. “How do we do this?”
“You mean how do you do this. I told you what I think. This is all on you. Besides, having me there isn’t going to make him any more receptive.”
“I need you there with me. To explain,” I said.
He picked at the peeling rubber around the steering wheel. “I’ll wait in the car.”
“You seriously aren’t going to help me?”
He took a deep breath and slowly turned to face me. “What exactly are you going to say?”
“I’m going to start at the beginning. And then I’ll end by explaining about Tallulah, and her being found, and what it might mean for the future.”
“As if we knew,” he said, his tone scoffing.
“Are you going to be a jerk about this?” I stared at him, giving him the few seconds he obviously needed to think clearly, but he didn’t budge. He stared at his hands on the wheel.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll tell him on my own. But don’t go anywhere.”
“I won’t.”
I unbuckled and kicked open the car door, which creaked on its hinges. When I slammed it shut, shards of rust sprinkled to the blacktop like glitter.
I knocked, and Sophie opened the door. Mom and Dad were already standing right behind her, apparently clued in to another one of my near-death experiences. How many did that make? Three, counting last night. This time I hadn’t even gotten wet.
“Mom. Dad,” I said, for lack of a better introduction.
“What’s going on, Lily?” Dad asked. “Are you trying to make us prematurely gray? Sophie said you almost drowned?”
“Hardly. Can I talk to you outside, Dad?” My voice was a thin wavering line.
Mom gave him a look and turned her wheelchair back toward the suitcases. Dad stepped out and closed the door quietly behind him.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “Are you feeling okay? We shouldn’t have let you go to the beach.”
“Dad, we need to talk.” He narrowed his eyes and followedunwillingly. I led him to one of the white plastic table-and-chair settings that were placed around the swimming pool. It didn’t escape my notice that he walked barefoot through every puddle on the pool deck.
The chairs scraped on the concrete as we pulled them up to the table. Dad’s face was pale, his blue eyes slightly sunken. His lips chapped and cracking at the corners of his mouth. Again I wished Calder had come with me. There were too many details I still didn’t fully understand.
“Okay. I know what you’re going to say, Lil, and I’ve