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testing. Cindy had a shoot that night, so Leah dropped by for a far too familiar social romp. As soon as she sauntered through my door, I knew something was missing. There was no thumping in my chest, not even a twitch in my pants. Thankfully, Leah was not completely oblivious to my problems, and after I helped her reach her own orgasm without the use of my bored dick, she left without so much as a barb or harsh word. Maybe it was the fact that Andi was not familiar to me, she was new, a breath of fresh air. With that thought in mind, I threw on a pair of jeans and a button down shirt, and hit the town.
    Provocateur NYC wasn’t your usual club; it was exclusive, it was expensive, and it was hard to get in to. They had their doors locked down tighter than a camel’s ass in a sand storm. However, it was a club that I frequented often. I gave Joey a fist bump as he pulled the door open, and I made my way to the café where I had planned to meet one of my best friends and fellow porn star, Ryder Harder—yes, that is his real name. I had met Ryder at the start of my career when we had both inadvertently answered an ad for a part in an adult film. Apparently nude modeling somehow equated to porn. That didn’t bother either of us who were naïve twenty-year-old men only happy to get paid to wet our whistles. Little did we know the glamorous life we thought we were stepping into was, for the most part, anything but glamorous. Abuse, disease, and drugs were prolific, and I had no idea how I made it through those early days without contracting something that turned my dick green. Ryder was so appalled by the state of adult film that he started his own company, Kink Harder. It grew quickly into a thriving business that was run with extensive medicals, zero tolerance for abuse and bullshit, and high quality scenes. I had worked exclusively for Ryder since the beginning of Kink Harder. I was one of the lucky ones who had found a clean, well paid career.
    Ryder raised his glass as I approached, and I nodded as I moved past him , making my way to the bar. This section of the club played softer music, making the room a hell of a lot easier to work when trying to meet a girl. A decadent space of glamour and sophistication, the café featured its own garden in the center of the room, colorful horseshoe lounge suites and European themed tables and chairs. I barely paid the guys any attention as my eyes swept the room in search of tonight’s preferred flavor. I found her in the way of a tall, lithe blonde with legs made to be wrapped around my waist. I bought Holly a drink, we flirted and laughed, and three hours later, I held my door open as she stepped into my apartment. Twenty-three minutes later, I used the excuse that I needed to grab a condom from the bathroom to give myself the timeout I needed. I sat on the side of the bathtub with my head in my hands as I cringed over the disaster my night had turned into. I couldn’t even look at Holly as I worked her body into a state of sexual need, and even with my eyes closed with Andi’s image in my head, every time Holly moaned or spoke it killed the illusion I was trying to create. I turned my phone over in my hand and sent an S.O.S. text to Ryder. Yeah, we guys did that shit too. My S.O.S. was responded to immediately. As Ryder rambled on about the amazing blow job he had just received in a shadowed corner of Provocateur, I feigned shock about the accident that had just seen my best friend admitted to hospital. I hung up on Ryder before he had time to finish explaining how amazing his orgasm had been; I really didn’t want to hear about someone else’s joy over their normal and healthy erection. My equipment had failed me, again. The stranger theory had crashed and burned. I could have popped a pill, but I wasn’t in the mood to play anymore. I was pissed off and confused. I politely apologized to Holly who seemed genuinely concerned about my hospital story. I actually felt bad for