She adores Mark, and rightly so, he treats her like a queen. “I guess it’s just been a while since Joseph and I had time for a date night. We’ve lost some of the sizzle.” I try to play it off.
“Wow. You have been busy since I last saw you,” she jokes.
“Never mind, I’m being silly. I’m sure I’ll never see him again.” Only old habits die hard, because that’s a lie. I’m already thinking about the next time I’ll bump into him.
*****
I just make it through the door when I get a call from Joseph. Good timing, he’ll never know I went out and had a coffee with Rachel today.
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Hey Roxi.” He hardly ever calls me by my nickname anymore. It’s usually ‘Roxanne, clean this,’ or ‘Roxanne, what did you do that for, you dumb bitch.’ Sometimes I get endearments, but it’s generally when he wants sex.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not horrible all the time. If I’m lucky, we don’t see much of each other and it’s more as if we’re roommates than husband and wife. Very seldom, but it does happen, he’s in a good mood and does something nice. Like take me to dinner and a movie.
These are the times he completely messes with my head. He manipulates me. Just when I feel justified in hating him and trying to find a way to safely leave with Ricky, he acts like a loving husband. He makes me feel like I was blowing everything out of proportion during the bad times.
“I was just calling to let you know that I’m getting pizza on the way home. So consider this a night off cooking for you.”
“Thanks Joseph.” I can’t quite bring myself to call him Joey like I used to. “I’d love pizza, and I’m sure Ricky will be very excited too.”
An hour later, he comes in the door with a pizza in his hands, true to his word. He even has a bunch of flowers and strolls over to give them to me with a peck on the cheek. I try my best not to flinch and to appear grateful.
I wonder why he’s in such a chipper mood. Maybe he was blown by his secretary at work today. I wouldn’t put it past him. He could’ve even stopped at a whore house on the way home. Who knows what he does with our money. The thoughts have crossed my mind several times, especially since it’s been months since I slept with him. Surely, his hand can’t keep him happy for months on end? His hand is never able to keep me happy, that’s for sure. It’s not very talented.
After dinner, he sits next to Ricky on the couch and plays video games with him for a few hours, giving me time to read and relax, and I feel slightly guilty for the times I thought he was so evil.
“The house looks good, Roxi. Thanks for cleaning it up.” It’s nice to get some rare appreciation. “I’ve had a business trip come up last minute for tomorrow, just for the day. I’ll need you to accompany me to a business dinner at 6:00 p.m., before we get a late flight back.”
Oh, now the truth comes out. He was trying to butter me up so I’ll play the part of a happy little wife by his side in front of his co-workers. He likes it to look as though I worship the ground he walks on. His colleagues at the investment firm all turn their noses down at me as though I’m stupid, it won’t make for a pleasant evening.
“I’m not sure if I can possibly get a babysitter last minute,” I protest. It falls on deaf ears, though.
“Nonsense. My mother would be more than happy to watch him. I’ll call her now,” with that, he locks himself in his office for the night; leaving me to pack away the pizza boxes and put Ricky to bed. He doesn’t bother to let me know if his Mum can watch Ricky, so I go ahead and pack everyone’s bags just in case.
I guess my morning run is out of the question now. It’s probably for the best. I shouldn’t be spending so much time with another man anyway, even if we are just friends. It doesn’t mean I stop craving the attention he gave me though.
Chapter Four
“Most of us don't need a psychiatric