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age.
     
    You also sound as if you wish you were
living in a different time – do you not feel as if you belong in
this era? If not, in which age would you rather live?
     
    You say that you’re not the same as when you
were younger. What were you like then and how is it different from
the way you are now?
     
    What is the darkness in you?
     
    What’s your favorite scent?
     
    To start off with -
     
    Eden
     
    ----------
    From: Adam -

    Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:16 AM
    To: Eden E
     
    Good afternoon you,
     
    It's funny, when your message came through
then, it showed a preview on my iPad saying; "Do you ever wake up
wanting ..." I thought, what can the end of that sentence be?
Ha
     
    You certainly know the meaning of a
cardiac-inducing breakfast. The English are quite good at that too,
though there are always some baked beans as well.
     
    I am not very good in the mornings,
ever.
     
    Don't devour me, mother!
     
    Ready.
     
    Retired/old men (a few, not a lot), have
made that comment when they have learned about my life, and what I
have experienced, and what I have been through to arrive where I am
today.
     
    Yes, I've lived a lot at my age, at anyone's
age.
     
    In some ways I don't feel truly as if I
belong in this era. However, I take issue with some of the accepted
norms of the past. Like in the 1950s, which would have suited me
well, there were great social issues that would disturb me,
frankly. It's a tough nut to crack. I think we have to accept the
era we exist in, draw from the past, and selectively participate in
the present.
     
    When I was younger, I had to survive. I was
"invited" to leave home at 15 and fend for myself. Sometimes you
have to bend the rules to have any modicum of comfort and normality
when you are in such a situation. Also, I was an asshole,
self-indulgent, with an attitude, especially when I started to
acquire the money and the spoils, that I was somehow entitled to
the world, and everything in it, and my attitude was, fuck everyone
else. But I grew up, and my wisdom evolved.
     
    Now, I am more patient, reserved,
considerate, wise, aware, less selfish, and I have a better
understanding of people and society.
     
    The darkness in me. Well, for example, if
you were my wife, and somebody harmed you, I would harm said person
equally, if not more. In fact, a great deal more, and the ways and
means I have in order to do so are perhaps somewhat more
resourceful than your average Joe. I have a huge patience
threshold, but when it runs out, well, it's not a sight to behold.
Not that I am a violent man or anything of that nature.
     
    My favourite smell, other than a woman's
when she wants me (either you're getting to grips with my dry
humour, or now you think I'm perverted), is old books, the musty
smell of a house left unlived in for a few years, coffee in the
morning, petrol.
     
    Keep going, Edie, your questions don't daunt
me.
     
    A
     
    ----------
    From: Eden E

    Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:28 AM
    To: Adam -
     
    Tell me about your day so far. I imagine you
waking up a monster until you've gotten your first sip of coffee or
whiff of petrol(???). Then what happened?
     
    ----------
    From: Adam -

    Date: Sat, Aug 4, at 8:35 AM
    To: Eden E
     
    You have no comment on my answers?
     
    My day so far. I'm not much of a monster,
just quiet until I get a few doses of caffeine and nicotine. I woke
up, pleasured myself, had coffee and smoke, read some news on my
iPad. Took a shower. Drove to meet the builders. Had a meeting
regarding the library.
     
    Then went to lunch with Luca, my friend,
colleague, and occasional driver. Lunch was a panino with salami,
cheese and rocket, with a side salad (rabbit food), and some
rosemary and garlic potatoes, washed down with an espresso
ristretto and amaro montenegro (an alcoholic drink made from 40
herbs), something that could be