enchanted lands, she had her share of suitors. Mere mortal men lined the countryside in the hopes of just catching a glimpse of her. Her fame spread across the countryside, eventually reaching a very famous and powerful magician who upon hearing of our maiden’s famed beauty, set out to see her for himself. He came to her little enchanted village and so great was her beauty and charm he was immediately captivated. That night he asked her guardian permission to lodge in his castle in the hopes of romance. Permission was granted, but with one caveat. The magician must entertain the family. So, entertain he did, in the hopes of winning the hand of the fair maiden. Now legend has it the maiden was not impressed. She refused every offer of marriage. She heartlessly returned every gift. Naturally, left with no recourse, the magician turned her guardian into a stag and imprisoned the fair maiden in a crystal chest. I’m sure everyone here would have done the same.”
The audience’s laughter turn ed to gasps when a sparkling crystal chest appeared over their heads and floated to the stage. Reaching out an elegant hand, he magically brought the chest down until it was hovering just a few inches off the floor.
“ Now the Grimm brothers in their retelling of this fairy tale would have you believe that the hero of the piece, the poor magician, was defeated by the fickle lady’s guardian and then her heart was won by a mere tailor.” With the flick of his wrist, the chest rose up six feet and swiveled around before gently floating back down and hovered a foot from the stage. “I’m sure as everyone has already guessed, that is not actually what happened. It was the cruel and wicked guardian who locked away our maiden and the wonderfully understanding, kind-hearted magician who released her. Our maiden was dramatically transformed by her captivity and once released she happily accepted the magician’s proposal.”
Grace watch ed as one of the assistants left the stage and walked up the center aisle.
“ But to reenact our tale I need a beautiful maiden. Who should play the part of the beautiful maiden?”
Several female hands went up in the audience , which was just as well with Grace. As excited as Grace was about coming to the Dragon’s Lair, she much preferred to be an observer rather than a participant. She also had no desire to trip over a dozen people on her way to the aisle. Unfortunately, Ethan had other ideas. He held up his hand and pointed down at Grace. To her relief the assistant ignored all to stand by Franklin Straker’s row.
Straker looked at the magician’s assistant expectantly. “I ain’t no beautiful maiden!”
Everyone laughed; even his employees.
Ignoring him, the assistant motioned to Valerie, who was sitting next to Straker. Valerie, who looked like she was going to be sick, shook her head.
Grace looked at her friend sympathetically, knowing her fear of enclosed spaces would prevent her from participating.
Determined, the assistant continued to hold out her hand to Valerie, who still refused to take it.
“Ah, if it isn’t Marilyn Monroe. Is she our fair maiden?” Ilya asked from the stage.
Reluctantly, Valerie reach ed out her hand.
“ Holliday!” Straker yelled out.
Grace groan ed.
“ Get up there!” Straker pointed to Grace. “She’s your fair maiden.”
Before the newly dubb ed fair maiden had a chance to react, Ethan was already pushing her into a standing position and down the aisle. In her hurry to reach the aisle, Grace fumbled past her coworkers, unfortunately eliciting more than a few groans as she accidentally stomped on a few feet with her cowboy boots on the way. Allen, in a desperate attempt to get out of the way stood up at the wrong time, causing Grace to trip over his webbed blue feet. They both tumbled to the floor. Quickly righting herself, she used Allen as a springboard and jumped to her feet. With as much dignity she could muster, she gracefully made her
William K. Klingaman, Nicholas P. Klingaman
John McEnroe;James Kaplan