rumpled print and radio reporters, carefully groomed TV reporters, freelancers and oddballs from strange newsletters – all waiting, pens poised, earpieces plugged in, as the prime minister strolled to his seat just as the Speaker, in his black robe and tri-cornered hat, rose to his feet.
“Oral questions,” said the speaker. “Questions orale. The Honourable Leader of the Opposition.”
The Liberal MPs applauded as Pinsent stood up to ask the first question of the day. He waited for their applause to die with a pensive look.
“Mr. Speaker,” said Pinsent, “today we learned from a media leak that the prime minister intends to step down, and intends to let the country know in a news conference, rather than here in the House of Commons. Obsessive secrecy has been a hallmark of the prime minister’s government, and it is plain that nothing has changed even as he leaves office. Why, Mr. Speaker, did the prime minister not plan to make his announcement in this place?”
The Liberals all applauded, but the Conservatives reacted in different ways. Some groaned in indignation. Others, who had not heard that Stevens was rumoured to be resigning, strained to look at him, their expressions uncertain.
Stevens stood and smiled blandly. “Mr. Speaker, I would have thought the leader of the Liberal Party would be delighted by the news.” His MPs laughed and slapped their desks. Stevens smiled his little smile. “I can’t count the number of times the honourable member has called for my resignation,” he said. “At last he is about to have it, but he is unhappy with the manner of its delivery. I suggest the leader of the Liberal Party is very difficult to please.”
The Conservatives laughed and applauded.
Pinsent rose from his seat. “Mr. Speaker,” he said. “We have become accustomed to the prime minister dodging questions in this place, but this is ridiculous. We are discussing his own political future. We have often observed that the prime minister is pursuing a hidden agenda, because he knows most Canadians do not support his Republican-style policies. This is surely the worst example yet. He is keeping the news of his own resignation secret!” Pinsent smiled as if he had landed a good one, and paused to enjoy the moment before he continued. “Again, Mr. Speaker, I ask: Why did the prime minister not plan to make his announcement here, in the House of Commons?”
The Liberals stood and applauded, but they looked like soldiers doing their duty, and the Tories laughed.
Stevens wore a big smile as he rose to his feet.
“Mr. Speaker, I will now reveal my hidden agenda,” he said. “I’d like to announce, as I had indeed planned to do in this place today, that I will step down as prime minister and leader of the Conservative Party of Canada in March.”
The Tory benches erupted in groans of “No!”
Stevens held his hand to silence the backbenchers. “I’d like to take a moment to thank my constituents in Whitby for their steadfast support. And my family ... All of us in this House know that public life, while rewarding, takes a toll on our families, and I’d like to thank my wife, Karen, for her endless patience.” He waved up to her, and MPs on both sides of the House turned, noticing for the first time that she was sitting in the gallery. She waved back at him, smiling.
“And I’d like to thank my children. Their dad missed a lot of skating practices, a lot of piano recitals, and that has been hard.” He frowned down at his lectern for a moment. The chamber was still. “So it really does delight me to announce that I will step down on March 9, and I want to let Sarah and Leslie know that they’ll soon be seeing more of their dad than they like.”
As he sat down, every Conservative MP stood and applauded. Bloc and NDP MPs joined in, staying in their seats and politely clapping for little Sarah and Leslie. Eventually even Pinsent, red-faced and angry-looking, joined in the applause, followed