Read Dead Man's Gift 03 - Today for Free Online Page B

half-open door. I push it open all the way and I notice that I’m wearing gloves. The lights are on inside the room and I feel a sense of terrible foreboding as I walk slowly inside.
    ‘The room’s a mess. A lamp’s been knocked over and a glass of wine’s been spilled on the carpet. But my attention’s focused on a naked woman who’s lying sprawled out on her back on a huge double bed. She’s dead and the sheets round her head are covered in blood. As I get closer, I can see she’s been beaten over the head with something and I’m pretty sure her throat’s been cut too. She’s young, somewhere in her twenties, with long dark hair and curves in all the right places, and I feel a pang of
something I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s more than sadness, but it’s not quite guilt. I touch the skin of her neck with a gloved finger, feeling for a pulse, but to be honest, I already know she’s dead, because I can actually smell the odour of shit in the air, and she’s not moving at all. Her eyes are closed and it looks like she’s asleep, but when I put a hand to her mouth, I can’t feel any breath.
    ‘I turn and leave the room, still feeling this strange pang. Then I’m back in the hallway of this house. It’s a big, flashy-looking place, with marble flooring and arty paintings on the walls – you know, the sort that are all bright patterns, but not actually of anything. Everything screams money, and everything looks pristine and brand-new.
    ‘I walk down the hall, and it’s then that I hear a noise behind me. I’m scared, I know that, and I turn round quickly.’ I stopped speaking for a moment. I could hear my heart quickening as I recalled the scene. ‘That’s when I see her. She’s blonde, dressed in black lace underwear – a bra and panties, nothing else – and she’s sitting on the floor against the wall. I wonder what she’s doing. And then she turns her head my way, very slowly, and I get a look at her face properly for the first time. And you know what? She’s utterly beautiful, like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, and I get this really strong physical hit in my gut. But the thing is, she’s hurt. There’s a gaping wound on the side of her head and it’s bleeding all over her hair and down on to her shoulder. And her eyes are wide and staring.’
    I paused again because the memory was bringing back that same feeling in my gut, making me breathe in short, rapid starts. I was beginning to sweat too. I couldn’t work out whether it was excitement at the fact that I could actually picture this scene, and that it felt real, or something else. I shut my eyes, trying to remember everything as it happened, trying to hold the memory absolutely still amid the fog inside my brain.
    ‘Take your time,’ said Dr Bronson. He said something else too, but I didn’t hear it. I was too busy concentrating.
    I took a deep breath. ‘And then this girl’s eyes focus as she sees me properly for the first time, and her expression changes. First, it’s surprise. Then shock. And then something else.’
    ‘What?’
    My insides tightened. This was why I hadn’t wanted to talk to him about it, but I ploughed on regardless. ‘Fear. She’s looking at me and she’s frightened. But it’s more than that. She’s absolutely terrified. I can see it in her eyes. And it’s me she’s terrified of, even though I don’t know why.’ I took another deep breath. ‘Then I turn away from her and I catch my reflection in a full-length mirror. I look different. It’s me, but at the same time it’s not me. My face is thinner, and my cheekbones are more pronounced. My hair’s shorter too. But it’s the expression I’m wearing that I really notice. It’s cold. Hard. There’s no humanity there. And yet inside I’m feeling all these emotions.’
    ‘What kind of emotions?’
    ‘I’m not sure exactly. I know I feel angry for some reason. And panicky too, like I’m caught up in something