have right now. With a pounding headache, I push open my door, toss the keys onto the table, and make my way into the kitchen. Reaching for a bottle of Jack, I unscrew the cap and take back a big gulp. The amber liquor burns my throat while I slam the bottle down onto the countertop. Waiting for a moment, in hopes that the numbness will soon set in, I stare across the room at the hole in the wall. With the amount of rage building up inside of me, I feel like I could punch a hundred more holes in the walls of this place, but what good would that do? Instead, I tip the bottle back against my lips and take two long swallows. Gagging on the fire building in my throat, I screw the lid back on and toss the bottle into the sink. Stomping my way back to the bathroom, I feel like an overgrown child. She’s made me a fucking mess, a torn man full of emotions…do I want her or do I hate her?
Regardless of the pain she’s causing me right now, all I know is that I need to rid her of my thoughts. A nice hot shower will do me some good and hopefully relax the stress in my sore muscles.
Shedding myself of my scrubs, I pull the curtain to the side and set the water all the way to hot. Before stepping in, I glance to the mirror, staring back at my reflection. My face looks tired—my eyes surrounded by dark circles. I reach my fingers into my hair and tug on the strands. Pain shoots into my scalp and it actually feels pretty damn good. Pressing the palms of my hands onto the sink, I feel like shit for leaving things the way I did with her. I should’ve taken the time to tell her exactly what I was trying to do, but instead, I let the rage take over and had no other choice but to walk away.
I’m turning into the monster I want to hide from. I hate that my emotions are all over the place with her. Thinking clearly is not an option when it comes to her. In one breath, I feel like I could fall for this girl, and in the next, I can’t imagine what she’s thinking of me.
Is it a lost cause?
Is it worth the pain and hurt?
Is it just me or is she feeling the connection I don’t want to forget?
Trying to clear my thoughts, I step into the shower under the scalding hot water. Letting the water hit my skin and the steam pull me in, I lean into the shower wall and tightly close my eyes. The first vision that comes through my mind is of her . No matter what I try to do, I can’t rid myself of the memories of her walking into the diner as they flash before me. Her messy blue hair, her brilliant green eyes, and the look of pain sprawled across her beautiful face.
I can’t deny the connection I feel; she’s the one and I can’t let that go.
Damn it to fucking hell.
I may be hurt and angry right now, but the more I think about her and the way she looked at me today, I can’t help but feel things I probably shouldn’t. Running my eyes over her image from head to toe, my body turns on me as my cock grows with curiosity, excitement, and desire. For a brief moment, I feel a sense of guilt as I grab my length in my hand. This may be wrong, but right now I don’t fucking care. It’s the least she can give me after pushing me away. Reaching for the bottle of conditioner with my free hand, I let go of my dick and squirt the liquid into my palms. While rubbing it together with my fingertips, I think about the release I desperately need right now.
Slowly starting to stroke my ache, all thoughts of anger and regret turn into obsession and desire. My mind goes back to her and the way her body swayed as she walked to the table. Feeling even more turned on by her petite form, I increase the speed of my strokes. Pleasure starts to overwhelm me and I can’t help but pump my hand faster and faster. Resting my arm back against the shower wall, I lean my head against my forearm. Ecstasy begins to fill my senses the faster I stroke. Letting out a groan, my eyes roll into the back of my head and my balls start to tighten. I see