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thought, how bad can it be—and you have no idea! ”
    “You’re right,” Megan says. “I have no idea. Why don’t you sit down and tell me?”
    “That they hate me? That my little brothers make fun of me? That I don’t understand this place? That I want to go home? What else can I tell you? I don’t want to be here.”
    She sighs ever so softly, and says, “You promised you’d stay until the winter holidays.”
    “And then what?” I’m yelling now. I hope that makes her happy. It doesn’t make me happy, but I don’t know how to stop. So I start walking the length of the little room, and it takes all of my strength to keep my thumbs hooked on the pockets of my jeans. Because if my thumbs aren’t hooked, then I’ll slap those stupid plants to the floor and kick the pots.
    “Then we can talk—”
    “I’m already out of magic,” I say. “I didn’t want that either. And you all are going to make me wait to get it back until I’m really old. Older than Mother is now. That’s just not fair.”
    And in my head, I hear Danny’s voice, mimicking Owen, Fair is in July— whatever that means. Half the stuff in this town means nothing to me and the other half is just plain confusing.
    Megan sighs really loud this time. “I know you’re unhappy—”
    “Unhappy?” I ask. “Un happy ? Try miserable. I didn’t agree to this. Fix it.”
    “I can’t,” she says. “You gave your word you would try this. That binds you. It’s only a few months, and then we all get together and talk, and I would hope that this time you speak up—”
    “A few months.” I run my hand through my hair. It’s so full of gel that the strands stick together, and I wish I hadn’t done that. I almost—almost—slap a pot to the ground, but part of my brain knows better. “I don’t know if I’ll make it a few months.”
    “You’re strong, Crystal,” Megan says. “You’ll make it. Let’s see what we can do to get your mother to come—”
    “She’s never coming,” I say. “She hates anything to do with me. She thinks talking about feelings is stupid.”
    Megan opens her mouth, and I know what she’s going to say, and if she says it, I’ll throw one of the plants at her, I will.
    And as I have that thought, she closes her mouth, and nods, like some queen beckoning me to continue.
    “And she thinks you’re stupid and she thinks anything to do with Daddy is stupid and she’s decided magic doesn’t exist even though someday she’ll be magical, and she’s also decided that every time she goes to Mount Olympus someone drugs her and lies to her or hypnotizes her so there’s no talking to her, besides, she’s like this Really Important Person who doesn’t have time for her real kids, let alone me, and—”
    “Her real kids?” Megan asks. She would jump on that, because it’s the least important thing I said.
    “Ethan and Danny and Fabian and Gordon. Her real kids. Me, I’m just the mistake,” I say, and as I do, I calm down just a little. Facts are calming, even if they’re ugly facts.
    “She’s said that to you?” Megan actually sounds shocked.
    “And everyone else,” I say. “Hasn’t she said it to you?”
    Megan shakes her head. “I’ll call her. I’ll get her here next week.”
    “Yeah, right,” I say. “There’s a better chance of sending me home than there is of you seeing Mother again. Tell you what. You get her to come here and have a session, and then I’ll come back, okay?”
    “No,” Megan says. “You gave your word that you would do this every week. It’s one of the things all three of you agreed to. You have a lot to work out—”
    “And our mothers agreed too, didn’t they?” I ask. “And part of what we’re supposed to do is work with them. Well, if I’m not worth working with, then I don’t need to be the only one doing the work. I—”
    “You’re not,” Megan says, and now she stands up. She’s giving off her I think we should hug vibe. I ignore it. “I