truck,
and I feel so tiny.
"What do I have to do to get you out of here,
huh?" he asks, tapping his temple. "I've fucked every broad
that comes into that place, and not one of them can get you out. And
now I have to see you every goddamned day of my life, prancing around
like I'm the scum of the earth, and you're untouchable.”
He pauses, but he doesn’t stop. His words are
slurred and dark, his breath washing over me.
“I got away from you, I got my life back, and
then you come wandering back. Making me want you again, and
all the while, you act like you’re too fucking good for this
world. But if you eat with the pigs, Princess, you can't be surprised
when you get a bit dirty."
I can't believe what I'm hearing, and my heart is
pounding so loud that maybe I'm hearing it all wrong.
Is he saying that he feels for me the same way I feel
for him?
I stare up at him, and he leans closer, his mouth
approaching mine. I can smell the whiskey on his breath, and I want,
more than anything, to simply silence all my fears on his lips. To
just succumb to what I want so fucking bad.
His green eyes caress my face, his tongue runs along
his upper lip as he leans in further. He’s only an inch away,
and I want him. My stomach clenches with desire and I need him so
fucking bad.
Instead, I run.
I don't know where I'm going. I just need to get away
from him, from what he said.
From how it made me feel.
The road is so dark, I can barely see anything, even
with my lights on. Not a soul around.
I'm completely and utterly alone, and the sensation
is at once comforting yet so alienating.
Kaiden's words ring through my ears, the way he was
staring at me so intently. With such longing.
‘ Making me want you again...’
I had to have misunderstood. It just couldn't be
real. I didn't understand how it could be.
It's one thing for me to think about my step-brother
like this, but for the feelings to be mutual? That's just me
dreaming, wanting for something that can't ever, ever be.
I have to get out. Out of this town, out of this
state, somewhere as far from him and the bar and Ryder as I can get.
I drive for what feels like such a long time but must
have been only forty-five minutes.
The sky's turning that navy color, sunrise just an
hour or two away, and my eyes are grainy. I can barely keep them
open, all the adrenaline of the day taking its toll on me now.
I have no idea where I am, but when I see a sign for
a motel coming up, it seems my prayers are about to be answered.
Pulling into a parking spot near the road and walking
into the dimly lit lobby, I feel like a zombie, and the front desk
clerk doesn't seem much better. Her face is sour and tight, but all I
want is a bed for the night, to crash. To be alone and try to make
sense of what's happening.
"One night, please," I say, struggling to
smile.
"I'm sorry, we're full," she says in
return, not even bothering to look.
"But the sign says vacancy?" I press, more
angrily than I intend.
I can't believe my luck.
She shrugs. "We're full."
"You've gotta be shitting me!"
The glare she gives me says it all, and I'm too tired
to fight, too tired to even cry. A tremble goes through me, and I
suck in some breath before simply turning and making my way back to
my car.
I can't go on. I crawl into the back seat, pull the
itchy spare blanket over my shoulders, and just try to find some
peace.
It reminds me of those dark days after losing our
home, back when I still had too much pride to talk to Kaiden about
it, and I shiver despite the warmth of the night. I just need some
sleep, and then I can figure it all out tomorrow.
***
I wake up startled to a knocking on the window. At
first I'm not entirely sure where I am. It comes back to me, slowly.
I slept in the car again.
For a second, I picture Kaiden coming to find me, an
extra blanket and a warm coffee in hand, and I smile.
Until I see the early morning light spilling over the
cop at my window, lights flashing on his car