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evening’s vanilla croissants. I must have eaten too many.
    I squeeze my legs around Janosch’s hips. Right leg no problem. Left leg big problem. Takes time. Felix and the others give me a hand. Janosch has to keep crouching for a bit. Then he stands up with a bit of a jerk that throws me into the air. I almost fall off, and quickly get my right arm around his neck. We march on. So here we go, the six of us. Night. Tarts’ Alley. A moon. It’s okay on Janosch’s back. Better than having to walk. Things go very quickly, just a bit bumpily. I have to watch out for my head. The ceilings on Landorf ’s corridor are very low—take a jump off the floor and you can touch them. Janosch keeps himself bent way over. He’s sweating a bit. But he’s managing, all things considered. A man has to be able to take it, he says. The two Felixes wink at each other and grin. Florian is next to them, looking as if he could fall asleep along the way. Troy brings up the rear. His face is expressionless. He’s stuffed the cans of beer under his pajama top. Even in this light you can see them quite clearly. They give him fabulous curves, but he seems not to care. I’m tired. My eyeballs keep drooping farther and farther. I’m thinking about bed. And Malen. And my parents. Asleep.

Chapter 5
    “Does everyone do shit like this when they’re young?” asks Fat Felix as we get to the end of Landorf ’s corridor.
    We were extra quiet all the way along it. Janosch says the tutor sometimes is still up playing with his computer around this time of night. He’s supposed to be nuts about poker. But it’s only a rumor.
    “What sort of shit?” asks Janosch.
    “Going to visit the girls at night,” says Felix. “Up the fire escape! Don’t you know the penalty for unnecessary use of the fire escape?”
    “Haven’t a clue. And we’ve done it a thousand times before—why’re you getting so excited? We’re heroes, or did you forget? Your namesake said so.”
    “My namesake’s a jerk-off,” says Felix. “What does he know?”
    “Exactly,” says Florian a.k.a. Girl. “What do
any
of us know? That’s what makes us heroes. Heroes never know anything, and as heroes we can do anything we like. A fire escape isn’t going to get in our way.”
    “Is that the logic of youth?” asks Glob.
    “No, it’s the logic of jerk-offs,” says Skinny Felix.
    “The logic of jerk-offs and heroes,” adds Janosch. Faint sniggering echoes along the connecting corridor, maybe even reaches down Tarts’ Alley to the tutor’s door. But nobody’s paying attention. We carry on. I’m beginning to feel like an idiot on Janosch’s back. As if I can’t manage for myself or walk on my own. But I can. Or at least I always could. But I don’t say anything to him; he’d only tell me again not to shit in my pants. And I’m not up to making trouble right now. Through the window I look at the sky. A great black expanse, with a scattered cargo of bright stars. Looks nice. Hard to believe some of them don’t even exist anymore, since they’ve been dead for aeons; it’s just we don’t see them because the light takes too long to get here. On the horizon you can see the Alps, just dark shapes, darker than the sky. Hannibal crossed them, as our history teacher was always telling us. I have to admit I kept dozing off and dreaming. That was around the time I got a crush on this girl in my class. Isabel. She was incredibly pretty, with dark hair. Always wore a tight T-shirt that was glued to her skin everywhere except where it dipped in front, so anyone could cop a look down there. It was great. She said she didn’t feel a thing for me. I was too weird. Besides, she was hooked on Marco, who was a good friend of mine. The two of them became a couple. They once got it on in the girls’ lavatory during the summer party. I had to stand outside and keep guard.
    It was a thrill. Your youth is the happiest time of your life, I think. Not just school but all the other