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and Nanna. Or maybe they were dreams.
    â€œSav’s never been sick like this. Never,” Mom whispered sometime during the first night. “Should we take her—”
    â€œTake her where, Joan? If they do blood tests…” Nanna murmured.
    â€œOh, Lord, you’re right. No telling what they might find. And we can’t call the Clann’s doctor, either. He’d tell the Clann, and that’s the last kind of trouble we need. So…what do we do?”
    â€œI don’t know. Everything I try makes her fever shoot uphigher. It shouldn’t do that. I’ve gone through all the books, read everything twice. But she’s too special. There just isn’t anything about her. There never has been. We’ve always been so lucky with her. She’s never been sick in a way I couldn’t fix.”
    â€œAre you giving up? ” Mom’s voice rose to a near shriek on the last word.
    â€œShh, no, of course not! But maybe you should call her father. Maybe his kind would know what to do.” His kind? Nanna must really hate Dad.
    A long silence made me wonder if I’d fallen asleep. Then Mom finally replied in an odd tone that made her sound even more worried than before. “Are you sure we should involve them? If we ask for their advice, they may think things are out of control. They might want to get really involved from now on.”
    â€œWe’ll have to take that risk, Joan. It’s ask for their help or nothing else.”
    Nothing else? What did that mean? Why did Nanna make those two simple words sound so scary?
    I thought I heard Mom murmuring to someone, but Nanna didn’t reply. Maybe Mom was talking with Dad on the phone?
    â€œOkay, we’ll try it.” Mom paused, and the cordless phone beeped as she ended the call. “Mom, he says we should try removing all our influence from her.”
    â€œAll of it? Even the protective…”
    â€œYes. He says it sounds like a conflict between the two sides within her.”
    â€œBut—”
    â€œWe have to try it. It was the only solution he could think of. And…he’s coming to have the talk with her.”
    â€œNo. No, you said she never needed to know. He said she could have a normal life!”
    â€œShe’s changing, Mom. And we can’t stop it anymore. She needs to know. But that’s only if…if this works.”
    â€œYou mean…there won’t be any need if…”
    Silence.
    If what?
    And then my body answered me, the pain sharpening until there was nothing but the pain. Death. It felt like I was dying the worst possible death imaginable, like being burned alive then drowned in arctic water seconds later.
    Hands of fire touched my throat, a horrible contrast to the block of ice my body had become. Something slipped from my neck, and the heated fingers went away. Then I threw up, my stomach emptying itself over and over into a metal bowl Mom held for me, until nothing was left, and still the heaving didn’t end.
    And then I slept. Hours, days, I had no idea how long. While I slept, I dreamed of Tristan.
    When I woke up, three faces peered down at me. Mom, Nanna…and Dad.
    Please don’t let me have talked in my sleep. If I’d said Tristan’s name out loud…
    But then I relaxed. Crazy, to feel guilty over a dream I couldn’t control. Even if I had said his name aloud in my sleep, just because I’d promised to stay away from Tristan and the other Clann kids ever since the fourth grade didn’t mean I would get into trouble for dreaming about him now.
    Still, I must have messed up somehow to have earned a visit from Dad. The only times he ever came to see me were for my birthday in October and once during the summer. And even then we only met for dinner at our favorite local restaurant, where we both pretended to eat in spite of the awkwardness between us, and he pretended to care about my life. He hadn’tcome to